5/18/12

RUBBER - REVIEW


Looking back, two things bother me about Rubber:

1/ It's a movie about a tyre.

2/ I was genuinely excited about watching a movie about a tyre.

Both suggest that not only is the film a slight effort to say the least but that my life is well and truly empty. I mean, the movie's playful marketing was hinting at Grindhouse-style mayhem complete with tons of gore and fun tongue-in-cheek self awareness. Sadly, the latter proved more right than I could have ever imagined. Hell, the film spends a good hour and a half referencing itself, joking about its own rubbish and not only breaking the fourth wall but penetrating it with its own tyre-shaped penis.

I'll leave it to you guys to picture that.

I like lols as much as the next guy and I loved the likes of Planet Terror and Hobo With A Shotgun, films which, though self-aware, actually really entertaining, funny and cool movies in their own right. But Rubber goes for an almost arty, indie-type vibe and jokes about itself so obnoxiously that you wonder if Fellini's ass didn't direct it. You've got the cop who talks about the movie itself facing the camera while... in the movie, you've got a bunch of people looking at the movie through binoculars, commenting on it constantly, and when you have no plot to hold everything together what you're left with is a structure resembling:

Tyre

lol

Tyre

lol

Tyre

lol

FINE!!! It's a tyre! LOL

NOW can I go?

To give the film credit, it's got some decent gore effects but that's really all the positive stuff I can say about it. Occasionally, the tyre makes someone’s head explode and your body starts working on a boner, a boner sadly doomed to a lifetime of incompletion. Hobo With A Shotgun might have sounded like a one-joke movie but really it wasn’t in that it was chock-full of genius hoboey goodness. Rubber actually IS a one-joke movie, one we get really early  on and one that’s frankly not very funny. This a slow, kinda dull, repetitive, weirdly pretentious movie and just fails not only as a Grindhouse-style B movie but as a comedy and a horror film.

Really not worth it.

If this is Rubber, then call me glue.

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