TheRetroCritic

Flop or not, Quentin Tanrantino and Robert Rodriguez's Grindhouse was certainly influential enough with countless crazy-ass films trying to capture the same type of trashy faux-thenticity and lolgasmic OTT nonsense since. The results have been a mixed bag, for sure, but I'm happy to say Hobo With A Shotgun is one of the good ones. It seemed pretty promising, the prospect of an aging Rutger Hauer shotgunning down thugs "one shell at a time" was something to look forward to. In the end we got a film which unfortunately didn't have that "event" quality Planet Terror possessed but which did not disappoint delivering a strong, funny, completely entertaining addition to the subgenre. Hobo With A Shotgun works as a stylish, well made Troma flick with less boobs but more surreal cruelty... and more hobos. The film looks great with its, ahem, interesting colour palette mostly limited to red or blue half the time, Hauer plays it straight and does a fantas

Looking back, two things bother me about Rubber : 1/ It's a movie about a tyre. 2/ I was genuinely excited about watching a movie about a tyre. Both suggest that not only is the film a slight effort to say the least but that my life is well and truly empty. I mean, the movie's playful marketing was hinting at Grindhouse -style mayhem complete with tons of gore and fun tongue-in-cheek self awareness. Sadly, the latter proved more right than I could have ever imagined. Hell, the film spends a good hour and a half referencing itself, joking about its own rubbish and not only breaking the fourth wall but penetrating it with its own tyre-shaped penis. I'll leave it to you guys to picture that. I like lols as much as the next guy and I loved the likes of Planet Terror and Hobo With A Shotgun , films which, though self-aware, actually really entertaining, funny and cool movies in their own right. But Rubber goes for an almost arty, indie-type vibe and jokes about its

Drive Angry probably boasts THE best storyline of the year so far: Nicolas Cage breaks out of Hell in a car. I'll repeat that: breaks out of HELL, in a CAR. This is gonna be sweeeeet! The trailers promised extreme Grindhouse-style silliness the likes of which Robert Rodriguez ( Planet Ter ror, Machete ) would be proud of with Nic Cage at his wackiest, exciting (read: ridiculous) action scenes and plenty of facepalm-inducing dialogs. Alas, you'll need to lower your expectations just a little if you are to truly enjoy Drive Angry. There was a great film in there somewhere (great as in so bad it's good, of course) but, unfortunately, something went wrong along the way. For one thing, Cage is at his most soporific here and goes for monotone swagger rather than Bad Lieutenant -type goofiness. Which is not to say he doesn't entertain: seeing the guy fully dressed having sex whilst blasting the bad guys with a giant gun, standing randomly staring at fire or saying the wo

Although there never was a fake trailer for this one, Hell Ride is indeed a worthy addition to Tarantino and Rodriguez's Grindhouse . After zombie movies, Mexploitation films ( Machete ) and car chase movies we get this biker flick which comes with QT regulars Michael Madsen and David Carradine but with added Dennis Hopper and Vinnie Jones. *squee* The result? Nothing sensational but it fits very nicely in between Planet Terror and Death Proof in that it contains the overblown silliness of Robert Rodriguez films and the style, dialogs and cool of QT's films. Of course, this being made by Larry Bishop it never achieves the highs of both directors but it makes a fair attempt nonetheless. Somewhat underrated, yes Hell Ride is big, lumbering, confused and dumb but...hello? That's the point. It's a 70's style biker flick! Of course you need lots of ladies in hot pants, gratuitous nudity, unmotivated biking, a trippy magic mushrooms scene and nonsensical dialogs!

Memoirs of a Geisha was a fine picture.  But where were the butt blades? The wig napalm? The giant castle robots? The killer breast milk? The shoulder guns? The rocket half-bodies? The chainsaw faces?  The answer: in 2009's intentionally goofy trash-terpiece Robo-Geisha .  It's no secret that modern Japanese horror died long ago. Some time after Dark Water and before all those rubbish evil Phone or Premonition movies. The first Battle Royale was a breath of fresh air and brought the gore and cartoon-like violence of anime into live-action cinema to create something completely insane, original and utterly brilliant. Alas, for years to come no film would even attempt to match the bold madness of the cult classic action/horror/black comedy... that is until Japanese horror was reborn into Grindhouse-style gore-fests mixing the crazy concepts of Troma films with the fighting, blood and guts of anime and classic action Japanese B movies. Films like The Machine

One of the best bits of Grindhouse was definitely the fake trailers. And one of the best bits of the fake trailers was Machete , which promised flying motorbikes, killer priests, threesomes and Danny Trejo kicking a whole lotta ass. Three years later, we finally got the promised feature. Better late than never, I say. Shame  Sin City 2 took decades... Robert Rodriguez excels at mimicking 70's exploitation films, whether it be horror movies ( F rom Dusk Till Dawn , Planet Terror ) or Mexploitation action flicks ( Once Upon a Time in Mexico , Desperado ) so Machete was always going to be a shoe-in. That it took so long to make is therefore surprising but as long as it exists, I'm not about to complain. So does Machete get the job done? Perfectly capturing the sleaze and silliness of Grindhouse action B-movies, Machete is about as badass, random and fun as it gets. Rodriguez's film certainly shows weak efforts like A-Team and The Expendables (out the same year)