TheRetroCritic

Although there never was a fake trailer for this one, Hell Ride is indeed a worthy addition to Tarantino and Rodriguez's Grindhouse . After zombie movies, Mexploitation films ( Machete ) and car chase movies we get this biker flick which comes with QT regulars Michael Madsen and David Carradine but with added Dennis Hopper and Vinnie Jones. *squee* The result? Nothing sensational but it fits very nicely in between Planet Terror and Death Proof in that it contains the overblown silliness of Robert Rodriguez films and the style, dialogs and cool of QT's films. Of course, this being made by Larry Bishop it never achieves the highs of both directors but it makes a fair attempt nonetheless. Somewhat underrated, yes Hell Ride is big, lumbering, confused and dumb but...hello? That's the point. It's a 70's style biker flick! Of course you need lots of ladies in hot pants, gratuitous nudity, unmotivated biking, a trippy magic mushrooms scene and nonsensical dialogs!

Robert Downey Jr should be in every movie. Even as an extra or something: just there. His impressive comeback is no huge surprise in that he is one of the best actors working today but it is very welcome. A film like Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, without him, would no doubt had been forgotten and left for dead...especially with THAT title! Thankfully though, there's life in this old dog yet. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang stars Downey Jr as a petty thief turned actor turned detective who gets entangled in a twisted Raymond Chandler-style story that's actually kind of hard to follow...but then again so was The Big Sleep . We're introduced to this world by a terrific self-conscious voiceover courtesy of Downey Jr himself and although the film's unique tongue-in-cheek style is a tad jarring at first you soon get into it and join the gang on their wacky adventure. The film itself is stylish, fun, clever, entertaining and very funny. Downey Jr and Val Kilmer make a good double act as they

Robert Pattinson sparkles in this inexplicably hugely popular first outing of the Mormon Sexless Teen Vamp Saga...sorry, I meant Twilight . The film starts promisingly in a little town where we meet Bella (a whiny Kristen Stewart), her dad and her new life as the new girl in high school. The one thing the film actually has going for it, to be fair, is the way it portrays small town ennui so enjoy this first twenty minutes as you will sorely miss them. And then the vampires come in (lol), strolling in like Purity Ring-wearing badasses into the school canteen looking not-at-all suspiciously pale and blinking with their not-at-all strange yellow eyes. Pattinson's hair defies gravity and he always looks like he's lost a small olive and he's trying to figure out where he might have dropped it. He has tantrums about the perils of biology class and takes 5 days off school because his new lab partner smells like putrid virginity. In a highly perplexing scene, both meet for

One of the best bits of Grindhouse was definitely the fake trailers. And one of the best bits of the fake trailers was Machete , which promised flying motorbikes, killer priests, threesomes and Danny Trejo kicking a whole lotta ass. Three years later, we finally got the promised feature. Better late than never, I say. Shame  Sin City 2 took decades... Robert Rodriguez excels at mimicking 70's exploitation films, whether it be horror movies ( F rom Dusk Till Dawn , Planet Terror ) or Mexploitation action flicks ( Once Upon a Time in Mexico , Desperado ) so Machete was always going to be a shoe-in. That it took so long to make is therefore surprising but as long as it exists, I'm not about to complain. So does Machete get the job done? Perfectly capturing the sleaze and silliness of Grindhouse action B-movies, Machete is about as badass, random and fun as it gets. Rodriguez's film certainly shows weak efforts like A-Team and The Expendables (out the same year)

Had I been informed years ago, pre- The Hangover , that a (sort of) remake of John Hughes' classic Trains, Planes and Automobiles was in the pipeline, I would have no doubt called for Todd Phillips' head on a stick whilst sharpening my trusty pitchfork. However, after Robert Downey Jr's glorious comeback and Zach Galifianakis' impressive bearded breakthrough the prospect of seeing these two travel across America together feels like a real treat to say the least. And that's just what Due Date is: a treat. Sure it's derivative and reminiscent of countless other road movies ( Tommy Boy , Dumb & Dumber ) but it can stand proudly next to the best of them as a hugely entertaining, very funny little gem that's frankly hard to resist. Steve Martin may have been uptight back in the day but here, Downey Jr is one angry, cynical guy and is never shy of punching kids in the stomach or spitting in dogs' faces. As for Zach, our John Candy, his retarded buffoon