TheRetroCritic

Although there never was a fake trailer for this one, Hell Ride is indeed a worthy addition to Tarantino and Rodriguez's Grindhouse . After zombie movies, Mexploitation films ( Machete ) and car chase movies we get this biker flick which comes with QT regulars Michael Madsen and David Carradine but with added Dennis Hopper and Vinnie Jones. *squee* The result? Nothing sensational but it fits very nicely in between Planet Terror and Death Proof in that it contains the overblown silliness of Robert Rodriguez films and the style, dialogs and cool of QT's films. Of course, this being made by Larry Bishop it never achieves the highs of both directors but it makes a fair attempt nonetheless. Somewhat underrated, yes Hell Ride is big, lumbering, confused and dumb but...hello? That's the point. It's a 70's style biker flick! Of course you need lots of ladies in hot pants, gratuitous nudity, unmotivated biking, a trippy magic mushrooms scene and nonsensical dialogs!

After the catoonish lunacy of the Adam West 60's TV series which had the Dark Knight dancing, surfing, running to crime scenes ON FOOT and stroking his chin repeatedly speaking bat-nonsense and adding the word "bat" before any device, it was definitely time for something a little more, shall we say, edgy? Not that the old series weren't fun: they were great! But as far as comic book heroes go, this one had more potential than the West series could ever produce. So who better to bring out the gothic weirdness and quirky theatrics of The Bat than Beetlejuice maestro Tim Burton? Michael Keaton is the troubled caped crusader, an unlikely choice but one which proved to be surprisingly spot-on: he brings humour and likeability to a character which could easily be bland and "one-note". Of course, the real scene-stealer here is Jack Nicholson's devilish joker who prides himself on being the world's first "homicidal artist" by trashing a museu

Only David Cronenberg could make us take exploding heads seriously. Not to mention make the out-there concept of mind scanning believable! Then again, out there is kind of Cronenberg's whole deal. After all this is the guy behind such wacko creations as Crash and Videodrome . If anything, Scanners is one of his most straight-forward ventures. Scanners is sci-fi/horror done right: from the tense, unsettling opening scene to the final bloody showdown, this is a ride through a dark and disturbing near future that's hard to forget. Michael Ironside is particularly good as the demented, powerful vilain Stephen Lack's somewhat bland scanner is up against and The Prisoner 's Patrick McGoohan offers fine support as the doctor who trains him. Overall, Scanners is an atmospheric, often chilling sci-fi story with some welcome gore and impressive special effects. One of Cronenberg's best.

There are no bad films, only bad entertainment. Whenever you're watching a film and you just can't stand it anymore you have to make it stop: that means it's not bad enough that it's fun and not good enough that it's actually watchable. Troll 2 is not a bad film...I wouldn't say it's particularly well crafted but it really does work. Like Tommy Wiseau's The Room , this is one of those films which may not have achieved its original goal but which has managed to become something altogether better entirely: a cult classic masterpiece of fail. Pointing out the film's shortcomings could take several days but needless to say it gets everything beautifully wrong. The story is nonsensical and frankly dumb, the acting goes from perplexingly odd to the equivalent of ham eating ham-covered ham, the sets and costumes are hilarious and just about everything else is impressively clunky. That Troll 2 has becomes such a cult phenomenon is no surprise, sooner or

It's no secret that sequels very rarely live up to the original. Occasionally, a sequel is actually so bad it can even single-handedly destroy all that was good about the first film, and what better example than Highlander 2? Never a big fan of Highlander myself, I never really understood what the big deal was with the first film and why people were such big fans of it when it came out. That said, in retrospect it's easy to understand its charm: the originality of the premise and the creation of this entire mythology from scratch is a welcome departure from the countless monster/vampire movies which came out at the time. Sure the whole thing was always silly, overblown and inherently flawed but people didn't care, they just wanted to see a bad French actor kick ass with a sword, pretending to be Scottish the entire time, heads being chopped off, references to Queen and lots of electricity. LOTS of electricity. I get that. A sequel can either build on an original concep

Never a big fan of the original Tron myself, I can't say the prospect of a sequel to Disney's 80's creation got me jumping up and down with anticipation. Then I heard Daft Punk were doing the soundtrack. Then I saw the trailers...So I thought I'd give it a go. Unfortunately what annoyed me about the first Tron remains but what worked in the original thankfully still works here, in a different way. Visually, Legacy looks amazing and, with a good script, could have potentially surpassed both Matrix sequels at least. This neon-lit world is definitely worth letting yourself be immersed into for a couple of hours. And needless to say Daft Punk's fantastic score adds a welcome 80's feel to the whole thing and pumps up the action scenes perfectly. Bridges does well, even with the dodgier lines ("Bio-Digital jazz, man!"), Olivia Wilde is stunning and Michael Sheen effortlessly steals the show as a dodgy and delightfully camp club owner. Then there's G

  Uwe Boll directs (that's a big word) this mess of a video game adaptation and offers us little more than about a million jittery flashbacks, some of the worst acting ever filmed and basically one of the most boring films I've seen in a very long time. Three things save this turkey from the dreaded 1 star rating: gore, boobs and Ben Kingsley. As catastrophically rubbish as Kristanna Loken's acting may be...she is compelling to say the least (though not so much in the big clown rubbery pants she gets near the end lol). The gore is gratuitous but fun and Ben Kingsley can do "creepy bald man" in his sleep.  The biggest disappointment here may very well be Michael Madsen who is a complete non-event. It's almost as if he refused to act and instead stood in front of the camera with his ridiculous Highlander haircut waiting for the "ker-ching" sound of his pay being counted. Overall, this is dire and it was so dire I actually found myself missing House

Life post Superbad hasn't been easy for Michael Cera. His various attempts at adapting his nerdy, awkward persona to other ventures felt somewhat hit and miss ( Nick and Norah , Youth in Revolt ) even if Cera himself was always spot on. Finally, with Scott Pilgrim, we not only get his most enjoyable (and different) performance but also his best film to date and one of the best teen movies of the Noughties. Based on the quirky Manga-style comic books, Scott Pilgrim vs The World is really an ode to 80s-90s video games, kung fu films and anime so if all this geekiness isn't your cup of tea it's very likely that Edgar Wright's latest will fly right over your head like its P-bar's up to its full potential. And if you don't know what a "P-bar" is then, well, good luck with that. There's loads to enjoy regardless, though. I mean you've got Chris Evans as a skateboard-riding douche with a funny beard, Brandon Routh as a super-powerful vegan, a