TheRetroCritic

Luigi proves he's not the sharpest tool in the plumber tool belt throughout the Super Mario Bros. movie. 

Once upon a time, Hollywood studios made an attempt at bringing Nintendo's most iconic video game character to life in live-action form. Super Mario Bros. starred Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo as Mario and Luigi respectively and it was a commercial and critical failure. Adapting a game franchise as surreal as Super Mario Bros. was always going to be a challenge, especially for a Hollywood studio in the early 90's. So, instead of attempting to recreate the colourful, imaginative world depicted in the games, the directors decided to ground the characters in a more realistic, yet still bizarre, setting. The plot, which sees the two plumbers having to cross over to another dimension in order to rescue a princess, is relatively simple with Dennis Hopper's evil reptilian dictator King Koopa looking to open up a portal that would allow him to rule both his dimension and ours being the main challenge for our heroes. Not translating the games directly for the big screen was a

I list 10 of the silliest lines from the Super Mario Bros. movie. Courtesy of Dennis Hopper's King Koopa.

I finally get to the Stage 12 boss then talk Mario and Aladdin as I continue my playthrough of the original Castlevania . Nearly there...

Making a worse sequel than Highlander 2 was always going to be a challenge and although they do try very hard here to indeed achieve this nirvana of cinematic assness, it just falls short and ends up being mostly dull. The film starts off pretty much exactly like Conan The Barbarian : bad guys on horses with silly helmets burning down a village, Mako, montages...literally all that's missing is Basil Poledouris's score. Then the nonsense inevitably begins as a statue inexplicably turns its head and opens its eyes, we cut to the present then back to 18th century France for some reason, we're given an odd, super long gratuitous sex scene and the list goes on. That said, the film at the very least acknowledges the shortcomings of its predecessor as it doesn't even attempt to fix anything and just never mentions it. We are shown bits from the first film so we can only assume either the action is taking place in between 1 and 2 or they're just pretending like The Qu