TheRetroCritic

Man the critics were rough on this one... Now I'm one of the first to bash whatever new tired kid-friendly animated flicks come out these days: Madagascar 3 , Ice Age 4 , The Lorax ... not for me. That said, there are the occasional ones that slip through the cracks and actually end up being pretty good ( ParaNorman , The Pirates ). Hotel Transylvania I found to be in-between. On the one hand you've got its gorgeous animation, its clever premise, its fun winks to old horror movies, its colorful characters and on the other you have... ...the singing. Actually you have an Adam Sandler Dracula RAP. I'll let that sink in. ... Theeeere it is. Ok, so that sounds like hell but trust me: Hotel Transylvania is worth a go. For one thing it's a lot of fun. It's pretty darn relentless and certainly never wastes any of its time: it's fast, punchy and nuts going for a Tex Avery-style random toon-craziness we haven't seen achieved quite this well sinc

No less than 5 years after their last release, The Red Hot Chili Peppers are back this month with a new album, I’m With You , which should no doubt satisfy hungry fans.  But how does the album fare minus long-time guitarist John Frusciante, who officially left the band back in 2009? Throughout the years, The Red Hot Chili Peppers have undergone changes and reinventions aplenty whilst always keeping their own brand of funky rock perfectly intact. The biggest switch came in 1999 with the release of hit album Californication which showed the band in a darker, more melancholic light. This meant the usual anarchic fast-paced funkiness increasingly gave way to an altogether more atmospheric and melodic approach. This was clearly the beginning of a new era for the band. The next album, By The Way , really made the most of Frusciante’s creativity and excelled especially with some of the best, most nostalgic ballads the band ever attempted. The album showed real heart and maturity but it wa

You never forget your first talking horse movie... Which is a shame because this really is one to forget. Although parts of it are actually so idiotically absurd they actually become almost funny. Just watching a dying talking horse voiced by Burgess Meredith pour his heart out to a talking horse voiced by John Candy while another talking horse watches The Three Stooges on TV with Bobcat Goldthwait...it's brain-damaging stuff but has some kind of entertainment value (the horse kind). Now I have nothing against Goldthwait, he was always a good side character to have around in films like Police Academy or Scrooged but an ENTIRE film of him talking like a stressed-out chihuahua...wow. That was something. I think about halfway through my ears actually defecated. Such a weird mix of people involved as well: you've got Virginia Madsen ( Sideways , Candyman , Highlander 2 ) as the obligatory love interest, Candy, Meredith, Gilbert Gottfried as a last-minute dentist and Danny

How could a film called Hot Tub Time Machine possibly be any good? By being so damn freakin' fun and gross out silly you forget to ask all the "whys" and "hows" a normal film would warrant, that's how! As silly as I felt in the cinema asking for a ticket for...Hot Tub Time Machine...it was all well worth it. You've got time travel, John Cusack, the 80s, Chevy Chase, Crispin Glover, that little big guy from Sex Drive , huuuuge amounts of random silliness and the line "nobody fucks my mother in the past!", what more could you want? Nothing that's what. Great great fun. 

Why The King didn't appreciate this will always mistify me. Stanley Kubrick's Stephen King adaptation remains one of the best and most genuinely "haunting" (pun intended and instantly regretted) horror films ever made.   Time hasn't been particularly kind to 70's horror films with the likes of The Omen and The Exorcist now feeling dated and hardly impressive in any way. But right on the cusp of the 80's, The Shining still holds up very well, although it's hard to take Danny speaking to his finger too seriously. At the heart of the film is a towering performance by Jack Nicholson, who can do crazy like no other (yes, Nic Cage is a close second) and joyfully cranks up the loon-o-meter to 11. Shelley Duvall was criticised for being too hysterical throughout but, to be honest, anyone not very good with handling stress would be lost in such a huge setting with a psycho husband running loose and such a weird kid...speaking in crazy voic