TheRetroCritic

Ok, so the new-ish Nicolas Cage film is coming out... ...and it's called STOLEN . Remember how TAKEN was essentially a fun B movie? Well this looks like the C movie version of that. After all: Stolen, Taken, same f****in' thing, right? But is it a "Cagey" enough outing to warrant a viewing? Bear lol Big mouth lol Elevator fight lol Fire car lol Well, it looks like we're in safe Cage territory here. Just sayin', could be fun. Ass, no doubt, but fun.

Here's a plug for a new blog I'm working on called We, The MindThinkers   which will see me writing random, silly sci-fi stories under various, increasingly dumb-sounding pen names. I will upload short stories one chapter at a time, 2 to 3 times a week so if you're in any way interested, don't hesitate to check it out! ;) The first short story is called The Red Moons Of NeOrion by Norman L. Brisbane, the first chapter is now up. It involves moons and bubbles.

More Bat-related genius from AxisOfOrnament . Click on the jacket-wearin' bat for more.

Yes, this month is Bat-Month on the RetroCritic blog. Hence the Bat-things... To celebrate the release of The Dark Knight Rises , we will be hosting a whole bunch of Batman-related content from reviews to videos to competitions etc. Basically the goal will be to turn this into your own personal Bat-blog for this month. Send us your Top 10s, reviews, videos, pictures... whatever you got: if it's Batman, we want it! Perfect opportunity to promote your stuff (blogs, sites, Youtube channels), email us HERE with your content and expect a reply soon. Full credit will of course be given to you for your work. Expect Bat-content to start appearing on the 2nd of July but in the meantime take this Sunday to sit back, relax and check out our Bat-Videos, Bat-Reviews, Bat-Fans Gallery and vote on our polls. Yes, I will be saying "Bat" before words VERY often this month. Deal with it. It's Bat-Month ;P Special thanks to Sarah Johnson for her fab-tastic Bat

Just noticed this. My copy of X-Men 2 is just ridiculously proud of something it really shouldn't be THAT happy about: ONE disc?! No... Could it be true? I didn't know it came in ONE disc form! This is radical! Seriously though, you're proud of selling a single DVD with no bonus extras and stuff? That's like saying: "The X-Men 2 DVD, now with a film inside!" Jeez... (review of the movie itself coming soon, NOT the one-word edition)

So I'm walking around a store when I find... 24: THE DVD BOARD GAME I lol, dig in my pocket for two, yes TWO, coins (like it's the 1500's) and buy that shit heartily. Oh it looked beautiful. Being a DVD board game I had my doubts, of course, but Jack Bauer was there, his face right on the cover, comforting me and I knew everything was gonna be aaaaalright... After playing the game, really I found there was only one thing wrong with it: IT DOESN'T WORK!!! Yeah. *This DVD board game takes place between the hours of my balls and my ass* Now I don't mean that the game is broken and I couldn't play it. No. The game is broken in that it is actually unplayable . Which is a shame because it all starts rather well! You've got your cool CTU-approved board, a briefing by Jack Bauer himself (*squeeee*) with 3 promising missions to choose from and our favourite countdown from the show! *tick dumm* 0:01:00 *tick dumm* 0:00:59 Then you start pl

Yes it's Guest Review Week on The RetroCritic blog. We'll be posting reviews throughout the week written or filmed by guest critics, if you are interested in taking part please contact me HERE . It can be a film, game, TV show (or specific season), play, musical or album review. Written (500 words max) or video (Youtube link if possible). I'd suggest picking something I haven't already reviewed but by all means choose whatever you like. Not really anymore rules to speak of, if you have a blog, website or video channel you'd like to promote please include a link to your site and I'll make sure I include it in the blog post. Thanks guys! Happy reviewin' ;)

"All subjective arguments and hyperbolic opinions aside, what is one thing that older video games did better than current ones do?" My answer to this week's prompt, loads of badass answers from the usual RGR gang and a special little contest!  What more could you possibly want? Only on LoudMouthedGamers.com "Hey, remember when Grand Theft Auto was basically filmed by hefty seagulls? Yeah, some newer games might be worth giving them a go..."

£15?!  Sure HMV.  YOU give me £15 and I'll consider buying the f***ing Quickening. Again...

My 2012 preview on Fotorater.com .

As our poll finally ends, I can now reveal that the Best Film Of 2011 , for the faithful followers & visitors of the RetroCritic blog is... CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER Yes, Marvel's latest attempt at adapting the superhero was a winner and arguably the best comic book movie of last Summer. It made it to number 9 in my own Top 20 Best Films Of 2011 list and seeing it take the top spot here isn't too surprising: a great mix of modern action and old-fashioned heroism, Captain America gets it right. And after the dire 1990 version , Steve Rogers deserved his comeback. It was certainly great to see Chris Evans NOT play a smirking douchebag for once. Don't get me wrong, in small doses (see Scott Pilgrim vs The World ) it was fine but... Fantastic Four happened. Twice. Captain America looks the part and boasts a strong cast: Tommy Lee Jones doesn't exactly play against type but stays on good form nonetheless and Hayley Atwell makes a beautiful and ref

How insulting. You don't think I have that?! I AM Conan The Destroyer [DVD] [1984]!!!

Some of you might recall mentioning a poster contest in an earlier post . Here's more info about it: THE CONTEST Looking forward to The Dark Knight Rises ? Can't wait until The Avengers ? Indifferent about Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2 ? From where I'm standing, 2012 looks set to be one badass year at the movies. Which is why here at TheRetroCritic we want you to get involved in the fun! MAKE YOUR OWN POSTER for any upcoming 2012 release: doesn't have to be professional, doesn't have to perfect, just creative and/or funny. The posters can be silly, artistic, amazing, ass... it's all good! THE REWARD The best 3 posters will: - Be posted on the blog's new photo gallery! - Be included in the review of the depicted film! - Be made for real and sent to you directly in a goodie bag! The best runner-up posters will also be posted in the blog's photo gallery and a link to your own website/blog/page will be included in the "Retro Links&q

Remember in my Robin Hood review when I told Ridley Scott off for not going back to sci-fi and doing what he does best instead of these endless half-assed attempts at macho-pretentious thrillers, epics and comedies? Probably not. Well I said it and, you know what? After seeing the new Prometheus TRAILER (aka Alien prequel-ish, but not really, or is it?) I might have just developed super-powers because lo and behold: something which looks light years better than ANYTHING Scott's produced since the 80's! And it's sci-fi! *gasp* And give me a break, Gladiator was fine but an Oscar for Crowe? Really? I can grunt. Anyway, Alien prequel or not, Prometheus looks fab and if Scott's film is half as good as it seems I will gladly bow to him once more and have intercourse with my Blade Runner  DVD boxset. It's been too long...

So I'm watching 1997 flop thriller The Saint starring Val Kilmer and Elisabeth Shue when I decide to check out Wikipedia for more info about the film. A film which involves Russian gangsters, cold fusion and... Ok, it only involves these things. But lets see what Wiki has to say all the same: Sophisticated ones? Lets see... U-huh... I see... Fair enough. Seems accurate enough. WAIT...