TheRetroCritic

M:I III didn't perform quite as well as expected at the box office upon its release but is widely regarded by critics as the best of the bunch. Mr Bird: your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to do better. This playful reference will auto-destruct in 5 seconds... ... *pfffffff* Well, mission pretty much accomplished profit-wise it seems. But how does the film fare in comparison to its predecessors? In their own way, I've enjoyed every Mission Impossible film to date: the stylish and kinda boring one, the hilariously overblown one and... the smarter one. I'm happy to say that Ghost Protocol is no exception: this is one fun movie from start to finish and the closest the films have gotten to resembling the classic TV series since Brian De Palma's first effort. Finally, Hunt has another team to work with. No wires to cut or waxy masks but you can't have it all I guess... The team in question, however, is hit and miss. You've got Simon Pegg

"The Bat, The Cat, The Penguin." Best. Tagline. Ever. For a long time, Batman Returns was not only hands down my favourite Batman film but one of my all-time favourites. To a certain extent, this is still true but time has made me a harsher critic so here's me trying to objectively review a film which has been firmly embedded in my DNA for decades. Hell, I could even hum the entire score from start to finish if I was drunk enough! Where Batman took the film noir route and was firmly inspired by detective flicks of the 40's, Batman Returns is pure Tim Burton. The snow, the quirky fairytale feel, the gothic look, the twisted sense of humour... it's a very different Gotham City to the one we were first introduced to. The film almost feels like an opera with the town hall, where most of the action takes place, acting as a kind of grand stage where all the drama and madness can take place. The film's opening is one of my personal favourite sequences of

Soon after the first Pink Panther film, Blake Edwards jumped straight into a second instalment, this time focusing on the first film's scene-stealing inspector in an infinitely more cartoony outing. This was always my favourite. For one thing its Agatha Christie-style plot works brilliantly and is far more involving than David Niven's rather bland cat burglar story: it all builds-up to a classic ending reminiscent of Hercule Poirot's last-minute suspect reunions but far more goofy and catastrophic. The film is beautifully made and once again boasts a fantastic score from musical deity Henry Mancini, one which boldly doesn't solely rely on that famous Pink Panther theme but instead blends a new terrific theme with haunting, amazing tune The Shadows Of Paris . Edwards has done it again: another instalment which looks, sounds and feels just perfect. Peter Sellers is given more of the same to do in the first act but he soon gets a chance to really get silly: cue cou

Never quite my favourite Hitchcock film, To Catch A Thief has nevertheless grown on me these past few years. Similarly in tone to North By Northwest , it always felt like a slight, silly effort from The Master. And yet these days I find there's something irresistible about it. This is probably THE most chilled-out whodunit you'll ever see: there's little to no hurry. Characters have long chats while driving down the sunny French coast, stop by to have picnics, go for a swim... It's one big, long holiday with a freakishly tanned Cary Grant at the heart of it playing a cat burglar trying to find a copy-cat burglar in order to clear his name. But where the chillaxed nature of the film infuriated me as a kid, now I get the joke: take a typical Hitchock thriller and make it as lighthearted and tongue-in-cheek as possible, set the whole thing in the most inoffensive setting and get Cary Grant to wear horrible sweaters and scarves: voila! To Catch A Thief never pret

Following on from a preview I made some time ago in regards to Tim Burton's latest stop-motion venture Frankenweenie , here's a new picture from the film just released. Not sure how Jules Verne's 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea will come into play but we shall see... Lookin' good.

I remember loving Fantomas as a kid (I'm French): as a premise for a film franchise, it was simply perfect. You've got a criminal mastermind known only as Fantomas who goes around stealing jewels, diamonds, the usual while wearing a multitude of silly disguises and Mission Impossible -style masks and making a fool out of Louis De Funes' grumpy cop.Think The Pink Panther meets the Mission Impossible TV series meets a French De Funes farce. It's so crazy that it works beautifully. The genius of it is that you're not really rooting for the bad guy to get caught at all, you want to see him get away especially when his getaway plans are always so out there. His main motivation seems to be a mix of kleptomania and sadism: he is one charming evil bastard. Fantomas is played by iconic French actor Jean Marais, mostly known for Orphee and other Jean Cocteau classics, and he gets to show-off in some imrpessive stunts, wear silly moustaches and that famous Fantomas f

Sid's Baby Moment from TheRetroCritic on Vimeo .

All set to watch new Shah Rukh Khan-starring Bollywood sequel Don 2 , I thought I should take a moment and show how great the new poster actually is. Quite a jump from the original one, don't you think? But wait... Is Don ripping out a mask of his own face? Or was he wearing someone else's skin the entire time? I mean, sure Don can be pretty unpredictable... But I never pegged him as a Leatherface-style psycho or... Tom... Cruise? Regardless of how silly the poster looks, I have complete faith in Don 2. It looks like fun.  But will it surpass Don?  That remains to be seen.

Remember in my Robin Hood review when I told Ridley Scott off for not going back to sci-fi and doing what he does best instead of these endless half-assed attempts at macho-pretentious thrillers, epics and comedies? Probably not. Well I said it and, you know what? After seeing the new Prometheus TRAILER (aka Alien prequel-ish, but not really, or is it?) I might have just developed super-powers because lo and behold: something which looks light years better than ANYTHING Scott's produced since the 80's! And it's sci-fi! *gasp* And give me a break, Gladiator was fine but an Oscar for Crowe? Really? I can grunt. Anyway, Alien prequel or not, Prometheus looks fab and if Scott's film is half as good as it seems I will gladly bow to him once more and have intercourse with my Blade Runner  DVD boxset. It's been too long...

The RetroCritic needs YOU ! So yeah, I'll be making a new short next February/March: think Ed Wood's Bride Of The Monster meets Bride Of Frankenstein . The short will be a springboard to my first feature Dr Vornoff vs The Martians! which I'm looking to shoot next Summer. So if you're at all interested in either film, check out the link below and contribute however you can, loads of rewards on offer! More info on the project itself on the Razorhead Films blog: http://www.razorheadfilms.blogspot.com And, as ever, if you want to help out in other ways here's the email: razorheadfilmsltd@gmail.com Thanks guys!

Ok, remember how boring and soulless Clash Of The Titans was? Wow. ACTUALLY badass. Well, we shall see... Lets not build a false myth!  *canned laughter*

It's HERE ! Finally!