TheRetroCritic

Few things in 2016 looked quite as ridiculous as the trailer for Alex Proyas' Ancient Egypt-set epic Gods Of Egypt . The film itself turned out to be just as over-the-top as expected and, although it did well internationally, the movie bombed domestically and critics panned it. One of the first things to turn audiences off was the controversial casting of white actors as Egyptian gods. While definitely not the best decision from the producers, I would argue that this is the least of this film's worries. Besides, realism isn't exactly what we should look for in a fantasy film as out there as this. The plot follows young thief Bek (Brenton Thwaites) as he helps God Of Air Horus (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) to fight back against Set (Gerard Butler), the God Of Darkness, who has taken over Egypt, stolen his lover and even his eyes. Bek is hoping that the gods will bring back Zaya (Courtney Eaton), his girlfriend who was killed by one of Set's men. Making a big blockbuster a

One of the NES games I hear the least about is Little Ninja Brothers , an action RPG developed by Nihon Game (aka Culture Brain), released in 1990 in North America. The sequel to Kung Fu Heroes (known as  Chinese Hero in the Arcade), took what made the original game so much fun and added RPG elements to it. While this kind of transition doesn't work for certain games, here it actually makes sense. You still jump around, punching and kicking your enemies in the same way except, this time, you find them in the wild and gain experience points as well as money when you defeat them. Those mini-fights become much more stressful when they pop up again before bosses. After levelling up, picking up all sorts of weapons and talismans in the towns you visit along the way, you enter various castles where you have three big fights with some of the most annoying enemies in the game before facing off against the main enemy, usually a witch or a sorcerer. You play as Jack and Ryu, t

From the director of The Fugitive comes Collateral Damage , an action thriller from 2002 starring Arnold Schwarzenegger as a fireman who is out for revenge after his family is killed by terrorists. The film was a flop at the box-office and that's not too surprising seeing as it was released only under a year after 9/11 and it's unlikely that everyone was already in the mood for this kind of movie. That said, this was a very decent, action-packed flick with an Arnold Schwarzenegger on top form. After the underwhelming (and very wacky) The 6th Day , Collateral Damage was a welcome return to good old-fashioned over-the-top action films, even if audiences hardly flocked to it and critics didn't exactly praise it. Apart from a few dodgy CGI effects, the film looks great and it's just good to see Arnie going around punching people in the face, throwing people off cliffs, setting fire to everything and bursting into rooms shouting and wielding a baseball bat. There'

Bruce Lee not only starred in this martial arts movie from 1972 but he wrote, produced and directed it as well, not to mention he also handled the fight choreography. The Way Of The Dragon is mostly remembered for its intense climax in which Lee faces Chuck Norris in the Colosseum. The plot is pretty typical for the genre: a Chinese restaurant is struggling to bring in customers due to an intimidating gang pressuring the owner to sell to their boss by causing mayhem so Bruce Lee is called in to help get rid of the bad guys for good. Along the way, he inspires the staff to work on their Kung-Fu and the one girl is, of course, kidnapped at some point. We first meet Bruce Lee as he lands in Rome where he is instantly like a fish-out-of-water due to the language barrier and the people's odd reactions to him. It's a surprisingly awkward opening sequence as an old woman stares at him as if hypnotised and Lee orders like six soups in a restaurant by mistake, causing him to ask f

Just when you thought the Star Wars franchise was well and truly done with prequels after the last three got so retroactively panned, here we have Rogue One: A Star Wars Story which takes place directly before Episode IV with a Han Solo prequel already in the works. Felicity Jones is Jyn, the daughter of research scientist Galen Orso (Mads Mikkelsen) who is one day taken by the Empire. Not sure whether her father is alive or dead, Jyn is rescued by a man called Saw Gerrera (Forest Whitaker) and she eventually becomes a Rebel. When the Rebels find a message from Orso to Gerrera, they take Jyn to help deliver it but, with the Death Star being finally built and Imperial douchebag Orson Krennic (Ben Mendelsohn) on the Rebels' tail, this proves more difficult than anticipated. Soon enough, an unlikely team is assembled, their rogue mission being to steal the Death Star plans and deliver them to the right people. The team includes blind swordsman Chirrut Îmwe (Donnie Yen) and his p

Tom Cruise returns with  Jack Reacher: Never Go Back , the first sequel to 2012's successful action thriller Jack Reacher based on a series of novels by Lee Child. A much less flashy franchise than the Mission: Impossible series, the Jack Reacher films aim for a darker, grittier take on the genre more akin to an episode of 24 than a bombastic blockbuster. While lower key than some of Cruise's other vehicles, the first film did include some stand-out elements like the deliciously tense Bullitt -style car chase, the inspired casting choice of Werner Herzog as the intimidating main villain, a particularly brutal fist-fight and an instantly compelling plot. Most sequels tend to go bigger and sillier but Never Go Back takes a page out of the Bourne movies and keeps things relatively restrained. From the mostly star-free cast to the character-centric approach, this is, against all odds, a significantly less over-the-top film than its predecessor. Which is not to say it's

After stealing the Summer earlier this year with Captain America: Civil War, Marvel are back with a somewhat more experimental project as another classic character's origin story is crossed off the list. Benedict Cumberbatch takes on the role of Doctor Strange , the Master of the Mystic Arts. This was always going to be a challenge for Marvel as adding what is essentially a wizard to a vast superhero universe could go either way. Fans might call it jumping the shark, liken it to Harry Potter and dismiss it entirely. But for comic-book readers, Doctor Strange is a pretty important character who has always been closely linked to most of the heroes we've come to know and love in the movies so introducing him to the Avengers ' universe was a no-brainer and an exciting prospect. Dr. Stephen Strange is portrayed as a charming, very talented and extremely intelligent neurosurgeon whose vanity and arrogance almost kills him. After a devastating car crash, Strange's hands

Here's the video version of my Silver Streak review.

As if the 80's weren't already 80's enough, in 1986 we got the most patriotic, corniest blockbuster imaginable: Top Gun . Directed by Tony Scott, the film starred Tom Cruise in his then most bankable role and followed cocky fighter jet pilot Maverick as he starts training with the best of the best. If you ever wondered why Michael Bay sets all his films at sunset, the answer is Top Gun as pretty much every scene in Scott's movie takes place in front of a golden sky. We first meet Maverick (Cruise) and his friend Goose (Anthony Edwards) as they show off their bold yet reckless flying and manage to save a panicking pilot who would have otherwise crashed. Because apparently mixed messages are an old navy favourite, they are told off then promoted and sent to the Top Gun school of awesome pilot douchebags where their confident, playful attitude is quickly rejected and criticised before Maverick proves himself worthy. There, they meet alpha-douche Iceman (Val Kilmer), w

This animated DC feature from 2009 teamed-up iconic heroes Superman and Batman with Tim Daly and Kevin Conroy returning to voice their respective roles. The film sees Lex Luthor become President of the United States and a Kryptonite meteor head for Earth. Lex Luthor's rise to power is one that should have prompted some pretty exciting physical and psychological clashes between Superman and his arch-enemy and, to a certain extent, we get that with most superheroes and villains working for Luthor being sent out to stop both Superman and Batman, who obviously refuse to believe this new public persona of his. This makes for some entertaining fight scenes packed with familiar faces from Captain Marvel to Hawkman, Katana and many others. In the end, we of course get a Superman vs Luthor one-on-one. This is very much a brawl with a lot of punch-outs so if it's non-stop action you're looking for then you won't be disappointed with this one. Superman/Batman: Public Enemies

Back in 1976, Gene Wilder starred alongside Jill Clayburgh in Silver Streak , an action comedy directed by Arthur Hiller set on a moving train. The film was a box-office success and was significant for being the very first on-screen collaboration between Wilder and Richard Pryor. If you're expecting another Stir Crazy , however, don't because you're setting yourself up for disappointment as Pryor doesn't really enter the picture until about halfway through. The film isn't quite the farce you'd expect considering the always hilarious Wilder/Pryor duo so anyone going back to check this film out might be surprised to find that Silver Streak is, in fact, a surprisingly sophisticated comedy with a Hitchcockian tone. Which is not to say that the film isn't funny, quite the opposite. Gene Wilder is excellent from start to finish nailing both the dramatic, romantic scenes and the goofier moments which begs the question: why no Academy Award nomination? The fil

Gene Wilder and Gilda Radner star in Hanky Panky , a comedy thriller from Sidney Poitier about a man on the run after being accused of a crime he didn't commit who meets a reporter before they both find themselves entangled in a web of top secret intrigue. Don't let the inexplicably silly title fool you, this is actually a fun, at times suspenseful film. It's really not the ridiculous farce it sounds like and it is, in fact, more akin to something like Silver Streak in that, while it does have some comedy elements, it's mostly a thriller. There's a Hitchcockian vibe to this one as Wilder plays a similar role to Cary Grant in North By Northwest : a desperate man trying to prove his innocence. The whole thing starts with Michael Jordon (Wilder) flirting with a woman in a cab and offering to mail an envelope for her. Unfortunately, he is spotted helping her and, when she is later murdered, he becomes the prime suspect and some shady parties start questioning him

Here's the video version of my Manborg review.

Review available on the new website .

This year, Disney had a surprise hit with CG-animated feature Zootopia , a buddy-cop movie set in a modern metropolis populated by animals. We follow Judy Hopps, a determined bunny police cadet who moves to the big city to start her career. On paper and from the early trailers, Zootopia really didn't seem like much with the whole animals-acting-like-humans thing having been done many times before. Watching the film, however, you realise that the marketing just didn't pick the right angle to sell this one. Instead of going for a generic approach, why not couch the film in a Lethal Weapon -style 80's cop movie type of thing? Judy (voiced by Ginnifer Goodwin) is one of the most endearing animated characters Disney's created in a while and just when her overwhelming positivity starts to get a little much, she has to deal with the cruel real world and Nick, a sarcastic fox con artist. Judy is first dismissed by the police force as a meter maid because of her small size

I finally talk about DC's latest Suicide Squad . I'm known to be quite vexing, I'm just forewarning you.

The sequel to Son Of Batman , animated feature Batman Vs. Robin continues the story of Bruce Wayne and Talia Al Ghul's son Damian (aka the new Robin) as he is torn between being Batman's sidekick or joining Talon, an assassin working with The Court Of Owls. Still very much a wild card, Damian Wayne (voiced by Stuart Allan) is initially Batman's ally but he is constantly trying to do his own thing and is always conflicted about killing his enemies or sparing their lives. This affects his relationship with Batman (Jason O'Mara) to the point where he starts to consider joining another vigilante and eventually even fights his own father on the rooftops of Gotham. This is a tense, action-packed if loose adaptation of The Court Of Owls storyline and, while Son Of Batman was a little slight in terms of story, a lot happens in Batman Vs. Robin and it's never boring. The film makes an interesting parallel between Bruce Wayne's childhood and Talon's and we

Here's the video version of my The Core review.

Johnny Depp and Christopher Walken star in Nick Of Time , a thriller from 1995 in which a man's daughter is kidnapped and he is then forced to assassinate a politician. The film was a flop upon its release despite the lead's star power and it remains one of Depp's most forgotten efforts. The central premise is an intriguing one as we follow everyman accountant Gene (Depp) in real time as he attempts to get out of his predicament within the hour and a half time limit he's been assigned to do the job. Throughout the film, Christopher Walken's mysterious villain taunts him and watches his every move and he is genuinely intimidating. Unfortunately, this whole real time concept has been done before and since much better going as far back as Alfred Hitchcock's Rope to more recent examples including the 24 series and Phone Booth . This might explain why Nick Of Time evaporated pretty quickly as it comes off less like a theatrical blockbuster and more like a TV m

Here's the video review version of my Fist Of Legend review.