TheRetroCritic

The only Bond film to star George Lazenby as 007, On Her Majesty's Secret Service was certainly a gamble. Casting a relative unknown to tackle the biggest super spy role out there after years of Sean Connery safely at the helm was a bold move to say the least. But did it pay off? Well, the film has enjoyed a cult following over the years and many regard OHMSS as one of the best Bond outings. Watching it growing up, however, I remember being less than impressed: something felt off, way off about this movie. But it’s 2012, a MILLION years later, time to take another look. It’s still no good I’m afraid. A positive attitude going in, I was hoping to enjoy the movie in a so-bad-it’s-good kind of way, as a loveably campy guilty pleasure or I was actually secretly hoping it was genuinely much better than I remembered it. And although parts of it are irresistibly kitsch or amusingly silly there is still something completely off about this whole venture. For one thi

In his third outing as Bond, Pierce Brosnan sure gave us a good show bringing his trilogy to an end in style with a film that, although not quite as good or memorable as its predecessors, made a worthy conclusion to one of 007's best eras. Before Die Another Day , that is... But The World Is Not Enough starts off with one of the longest (and best) pre-titles sequences around: Bond in an MI6 speedboat chasing a female terrorist around The Thames only to end with a hot-air balloon explosion and 007 rolling down the Millenium Dome. Check out Bond fixing his tie while underwater, boating on the road and cheekily splashing parking wardens. Then the plot kicks in as we learn that Robert Carlyle is Renard, a superhuman dude with a bullet in his head and Sophie Marceau's stripper-named Elektra King is an important part of the puzzle. Along the way, Bond meets Robbie Coltrane's always welcome sleaze-bag Valentin Zukovsky and Denise Richards who plays, ahem, nuclear physici

Awesome poster, right? Yeah well don't get your hopes up, people, this is Never Say Never Again , the 1983 "remake" of Thunderball directed by Irvin " Empire Strikes Back " Kershner and starring an aging Sean Connery in his last outing as 007. Being an unofficial Bond flick, get ready for some unofficial Bond assness. For starters, Sean Connery not only looks waaaay too old for the part but he is barely trying giving a near-catatonic performance throughout. He also has THE worst wardrobe spending most of his time in pyjamas, bad cream-coloured suits or bath robes. Remember David Niven in the old Casino Royale ? Frighteningly, he made a more convincing Bond in that movie than... Bond himself! Next to Connery's performance in this, Harrison Ford in Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull looked like a fresh-faced newborn. From the offset, you know you're in for something thoroughly unimpressive. The theme song is about as exciting as a lullaby and the unin

Just a little post to explain the new 007-themed banner (otherwise that's just weird!). This month on TheRetroCritic is "Bond Month" so expect plenty of Bond reviews, 007-related articles, Skyfall goodies and, depending on how the vote goes for Best & Worst Bond Films (see top-left + top-right of Home page), Bond video reviews. The films chosen by the polls as Best & Worst Bond films to date will indeed be given the video review treatment. That is all :) Have fun!

It's 1995, the hairy scientist out of The Lawnmower Man is James Bond, Tina Turner is still kicking ass and the world still believes in Alan Cumming's value as a hilarious comedian. 1995 lol Yes Pierce Brosnan is 007 in GoldenEye , the film responsible for N64's most popular game title and, by extension, Perfect Dark (N64's not most popular but actually better game title). Very quickly, it's easy to why the studios wanted to cast the actor since The Living Daylights . Brosnan is a good all-rounder with a certain Connery-style charisma paired with corny puns and one-liners Roger Moore would kill for. On top of that, this is the most convincing action-hero Bond we've seen so far with past incarnations usually settling for skiing in front of blue screens or letting stuntmen shot from really really far away do the job. No, Brosnan is our Tom Cruise 007. It's the 90's, bro! Totally radical to the max and shit! GoldenEye starts with 007 and 006 (S

Hey, remember when James Bond was about as PC as Speedy Gonzales? Sean Connery being the John Wayne of the franchise, you can imagine how a little trip to Japan in the 1960's turned out... You Only Live Twice sees 007 fake his own death before travelling to Japan where he's hoping to find out who has been sending a mysterious Pacman -style space bullet to gobble up the US and Soviet Union's satellites, almost kick-starting a nuclear war between both countries. Kind of like the plot to Tomorrow Never Dies in a way but instead of China it's Russia, instead of a media mogul it's a cat-strokin' menace and instead of boats... it's SPACE. On location, Bond meets the usual mix of bad guys, sultry gals and sumo wrestlers. It's all a bit hit-and-miss plot wise with Bond not actually doing much besides letting himself be bathed by half-naked ladies, flying an ever so slightly absurd-looking foldable helicopter and... getting an "Oriental make-over&q

Every Bond renewal comes with a bit of a risk. Every time an actor is introduced to become the new 007 there's always a weird overprotective (irrational) fear that studios would put their foot in it and cast Paul Giamatti or something. Ironically, the result is usually fine and actually makes for a stronger Bond film. Perhaps all this freaking out is for the best and gives everyone the chance to put a little effort into not screwing up the best spy franchise out there. If only this much thought-process had gone into Moonraker ... Essentially, although the Bond franchise feels like a continuous thing, what it comes down to, really, is a collection of quite separate trilogies/series. Casino Royale tries something a little bit different by not only starting from the top with the origins of Bond and showing how he earned his licence to kill, met Felix Leiter, built a bit of an emotional shield between his life and his work... all interesting stuff we kind of take for granted in

Hardly the most popular of the Bond films, Die Another Day marks the end of Pierce Brosnan's run as 007 and, by extension, the end of the super-suave, wisecrackin' agent with all the best (read: worst) puns this side of MI6. Yes it was time for a change. After a great start to the Bond franchise, Brosnan's films started losing whatever little edge they had instead opting for a lighter, Roger Moorian cartoonish tone. Die Another Day is when Bond really became pure sci-fi. Which meant good news for fans of G.I. Joe but bad news for Ian Fleming purists. To be fair: you are warned pretty darn quickly about what you're in for with Bond surfing his way to North Korea in a scene so implausible you'll be making faces long before 007 reveals himself as one of the surfers. The pre-titles sequence proves to be much more promising though with Bond ending up getting captured and tortured throughout Madonna's hit-and-miss theme song. So far, so messy. The key plot is

Another day another Bond... Looking back, the 80's didn't look good for 007: For Your Eyes Only , Octopussy ... not a good start. And that was just after Moonraker . Thankfully, Roger Moore bowed out with a half decent effort,  A View To A Kill , which boasted kickass villains in the form of a Christopher Walken/Grace Jones dynamic duo. It was a fine movie but it was, indeed, time for a change. Pierce Brosnan not being available at the time, Timothy Dalton steps in as the new Bond and would bring with him a somewhat more serious, harder-edged feel to the character and his new adventures. Well... compared to Roger Moore's, that is.  The new Bond reinvention began with The Living Daylights , arguably THE most legitimately 80's of the 007 movies. With its irresistible synth-led score and its cool A-ha theme tune, it's almost shocking this Bond doesn't have a mullet and legwarmers! What Dalton lacks in natural pun deliveries he makes up for in making Bond feel m

The second in the series of Pierce Brosnan Bond flicks, Tomorrow Never Dies had to follow Goldeneye . Not an easy task at all but looking back, what's the verdict? It's still great. I mean, I've always loved Tomorrow Never Dies. Sure it wasn't quite as sexy or brutal as its predecessor but it had a compelling plot, a fun villain, lots of cool set pieces and a Brosnan on good form. Here was a classy, modern Bond film which retained the melodramatic/OTT feel of early outings whilst adding some nifty new toys and countless more corny one-liners. Just the way I like 'em. After a thrilling opening action sequence, we get our surreal opening titles to the sound of a surprisingly good Sheryl Crow song and we know we're in good hands. For me, it's one of the most underrated James Bond films out there: it does everything right and has all the ingredients that make a good 007 outing. The bike chase is fantastic, the cast is a lot of fun and there are no invi