TheRetroCritic

Uwe Boll has been branded as the new Ed Wood by many critics and I've never really seen the similarities apart from the fact they both made bad, silly films...until I saw Bloodrayne 2. Ed Wood mixed genres like monster movies, sci-fi B movies and film noir together in the hope of creating something fresh and original and, as time as shown, he was succesful. Here Boll mixes spaghetti western with comedy, vampire horror and...video games. The result: vintage Uwe. Whereas the first Bloodrayne boasted a good cast, lots of silliness and a lot of boredom, here we have pretty much no relation to the games, no big names and lots of silliness once again but...it does have vampire cowboys. And after robot cowboys (see Westworld ) this is pretty much the best thing I've ever heard. Don't get me wrong: it's rubbish. But as a bad movie this one can be enjoyed on the same level as a good old-fashioned Ed Wood. It's stupid but proudly so and Boll clearly has fun cloning En

  Uwe Boll directs (that's a big word) this mess of a video game adaptation and offers us little more than about a million jittery flashbacks, some of the worst acting ever filmed and basically one of the most boring films I've seen in a very long time. Three things save this turkey from the dreaded 1 star rating: gore, boobs and Ben Kingsley. As catastrophically rubbish as Kristanna Loken's acting may be...she is compelling to say the least (though not so much in the big clown rubbery pants she gets near the end lol). The gore is gratuitous but fun and Ben Kingsley can do "creepy bald man" in his sleep.  The biggest disappointment here may very well be Michael Madsen who is a complete non-event. It's almost as if he refused to act and instead stood in front of the camera with his ridiculous Highlander haircut waiting for the "ker-ching" sound of his pay being counted. Overall, this is dire and it was so dire I actually found myself missing House