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IN TIME - REVIEW

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What if time was literally money? Well, if In Time is anything to go by, it would make for one idiotic-sounding script. With every mention of money cunningly replaced by " time ", every cent replaced by a "second", every dollar by a "day" and so on and so forth. And if that sounds kinda dumb to you: that's because it is. You're very perceptive. Strange that something this obvious and clunky comes from the writer of The Truman Show and  Gattaca . I like Andrew Niccol's work but this is not the guy's finest hour. I mean, sure In Time looks good and everyone involved is beautiful but where that worked in Gattaca, a film in which perfection was kinda the whole point, here you never know if you're watching a movie or if Justin Timberlake is selling you a new fragrance. Speaking of which, people have to stop putting Mr Lake in movies. I mean it. So many talented folks out there: actors! Occasionally he pulls off a role but he

THE LOVE GURU - REVIEW

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Following a popular franchise like Austin Powers was never going to be easy so it's no big surprise that The Love Guru tanked upon its release. What is surprising though is the general hate the film generated from critics. I mean, ok, I'm not gonna pretend this is any good but there are far worse films out there. One only needs to look to Myers' buddy Dana Carvey and his little nugget Master Of Disguise , a film so unfunny it's actually sad. Admittedly The Love Guru does a lot of things wrong: Justin Timberlake and Jessica Alba are both typically awful, Ben Kingsley as a cross-eyed Indian guru is disturbing, the whole thing is a sports movie (*puke*) and the central romance is about as interesting as Fat Bastard's ass. Oh, and a lot of the jokes just don't work. Then again, Mike Myers is genuinely fun even if he does turn into Dr Evil or Austin Powers occasionally, there are some good jokes here and there and the whole thing is pretty entertaining. Sure

FIDO - REVIEW

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With the likes of Shaun of the Dead , Planet Terror and Zombieland , I think it's fair to say the zombie genre is back on track and is better than it's ever been. Here we have another welcome addition to the new zombie comedy bandwagon with Fido, a colourful Tim Burton-esque tale of 50's suburbia, propaganda, paranoia and human zombie pets. The post-apocalyptic story is pretty brilliant in how it's set up and reaches glorious highs of genius. The scene where the main kid hacks an old lady zombie to death with a shovel, silhouetted in front of a giant Wolfman -style full moon is one of the most satisfying scenes of the past few years and I'd gladly watch it on a loop. An unrecognisable Billy Connolly feels a tad wasted as the titular Fido zombie, who doesn't so much say his lines as grunt them. Then again, this gives the character a welcome Edward Scissorhands -esque simplicity and innocence. Connolly's always a welcome addition but anyone

THE SOCIAL NETWORK - REVIEW

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David Fincher directs this Dead Poets Society for the internet age with gusto and brings the controversial creation of the popular social networking site Facebook to life. Unfortunately, there's really not much to tell. Zuckerberg comes up with it (kinda), there are a few lawsuits...that's pretty much it. And there's nothing more boring than people sitting at their computer and going to meetings. That said, Fincher makes the story flow perfectly and there's never a dull moment, which is a huge achievement in itself. Unfortunately, at times the film attempts to make Harvard, rowing and typing on one's laptop way cooler and snappier than it really should be. He's Mark Zuckerberg not Beethoven! And no amount of babes, coke or...HTML can change that. In fact, what is most interesting about this whole story isn't so much the creation of the website or the lawsuits that followed but rather the deterioration of Zuckerberg's relationship with his best frie