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THE THREE MUSKETEERS (1993) - REVIEW

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Talk about a 90's cast... Yes Kiefer Sutherland, Charlie Sheen, Chris O'Donnell and Oliver Platt face-off against Tim Curry's villainous Cardinal Richelieu in this Disney-produced Hollywood adaptation of the classic Alexandre Dumas tale. No, I never pictured Jack Bauer as a musketeer either but hey, he makes a good Athos. Actually, the three musketeers work pretty well despite not matching the characters from the book to the letter. Charlie Sheen's Aramis is far too 'winningly' jokey and Oliver Platt's Porthos has one one-liner too many I think but on the whole you buy that these guys could be a team, and that's the main thing. The plot takes key elements from Dumas' novel but reduces the plot to a more simplistic good people vs bad people kind of thing which is a bit of a shame but considering they're telling this whole story in under 2 hours, that's fair enough. The film starts off surprisingly well actually. Chris O'Donnell, o

THE THREE MUSKETEERS (1973) - REVIEW

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Although many will tell you that this is the best adaptation of Alexandre Dumas' story, those people probably haven't read the book. Yes Richard Lester's film has a lot going for it and gets a lot of things right, it also gets a lot of things wrong not only in terms of staying close to the story but also dramatically. The cast, for the most part, is spot on. Oliver Reed steals the show as Athos and proves to be perfect casting for the role. Heston's Cardinal, Dunaway's Milady and Lee's Rochefort are all brilliant. Unfortunately, Raquel Welch proves to be this film's splinter which refuses to go away no matter how much you try to take it out. Her performance is absolutely abysmal and the director's decision to turn Constance into a bumbling clumsy fool is unnecessary and frankly DUMB. Whatever happened to the Queen's cunning spy maid? You know when you've been Clouseau-ed. Michael York is fine as D'Artagnan although once again Lester makes

THE THREE MUSKETEERS - REVIEW

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Ok people. Brace yourselves. You might want to be sitting down for this. Here goes. *exhales* Paul W.S. Anderson's The Three Musketeers is nothing like Alexandre Dumas' original novel. THERE. I said it. Oh sure you've got the main plot points intact: Milady rock-sliding under an Indiana Jones booby trap, The Duke Of Buckingham's evil flying boats, razor beams... Wait... Here's the deal: I have nothing against an over-the-top version of the musketeers, I still have my Gene Kelly 1948 version and I'm happy with that one. Steampunk Three Musketeers? Why the fuck not? Everything else exists. BUT... (and this is a big BUT) Make it good. I'll admit a lot of this Three Musketeers made me laugh. The film bears that special kind of stupidity that's just about silly enough to be funny. Take the very last shot of the film (which opens the path for a sequel btw): CUT TO: Boats. (Tilt up to the sky to reveal...) Boats. CUT TO: BLACK Wow. Something