TheRetroCritic

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David Brent, Ricky Gervais' entertainingly pathetic creation from cult series The Office , finally gets his own spin-off movie as the boss-turned-sales rep attempts to make his rock star dreams come true on a misguided UK tour. David Brent: Life On The Road first introduces us to Brent's new life as a sales rep for a bathroom supply firm and, this time, his co-workers aren't all that willing to politely play along with his ebullient cluelessness even if a couple of them do genuinely like him. The film is shot in the same mockumentary style as The Office with Brent and his bandmates talking to the camera throughout their journey. The tour is obviously a disaster from the get-go as the band members are instantly put off by Brent's blatant desperation, awful songwriting and bad sense of humour. The gigs are one catastrophe after another between Brent's naively offensive songs, no-one coming to see the band play and countless mishaps. Fans of awkward humour should

Yes, Miss Peregrine has a song now. Enjoy. Song For Miss Peregrine by TheRetroCritic

What if Dr. Strange had a song? Which movie should I write a song about next? Dr. Strange (The Looking Glass) by TheRetroCritic

Because it had to be done. He's The Hobbit (Smaller Than A Rabbit) by TheRetroCritic

After travelling through time in order to ace a school assignment, Bill and Ted are back and, this time around, they're not so much time travelling as they are dying and coming back to life, like a couple of rock Jesuses. The plot, this time, is much more intricate (well, for a Bill & Ted movie, anyway) as an evil baddie from the future (Joss Ackland) sends back a couple of Bill and Ted robots to kill off the original Bill and Ted, take over their lives and ruin the battle of the bands they're meant to be participating in thereby denying the world of a hard-rockin' future. Everything goes according to plan as the dudes are disposed of and their "princesses" are tossed aside by their evil counterparts. The duo's adventure then mostly takes place in the afterlife where Bill and Ted foil Death by giving him a "melvin" (wedgie), hang around as ghosts for a while then try to escape from Hell, attempt to break into Heaven and challenge Death to a

From punk supergroup Osaka Popstar (John Cafiero, Jerry Only, Marky Ramone, Dez Cadena, Ivan Julian) comes a couple of anime intro songs done in their own, unique way. You can find them all on their 2006 album Osaka Popstar And The American Legends Of Punk . Of course, Youtube being Youtube, it was pretty easy to find people who made fan videos from those songs so here's Sailor Moon , first off: Now, how about some Astro Boy ? Unfortunately the video's modelled on the CG movie rather than the original series but hey, it still works really well: Alas, Shaolin Monkeys may not be a real anime series (even though it really should be) so the song didn't get its own video but here it is regardless: Besides, the Shaolin Monkeys have their own website , and in my book that means they're real. You can also find a cute little flash animation for one of the band's songs called Wicked World : More cool stuff on the band's website: osakapopst

Many years after Interview With The Vampire , we got Queen Of The Damned , a movie based on another part of Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles . No Tom Cruise this time, sadly, the role of the vampire Lestat instead being played by Stuart Townsend who seems to get the character yet somehow lacks the convincing theatricality and threatening cruelty of Cruise's original performance. Townsend's Lestat is the mischievous, camp killer you'd expect but there's a wooden, overdone delivery to his lines and his voice-overs which tends to distract more than anything. The film sees Lestat wake up from a long slumber in order to, I kid you not, start a goth rock band in order to piss off other vampires who don't necessarily want humans to learn about their existence. This bold move awakes Akasha, the Queen Of The Damned, the mother of all vampires. She is played by the late Aaliyah, this was her second and last performance in a film before her tragic, untimely passing. Bel

Anyone who knows me knows I have worshipped Metric since their kickass breakout album Old World Underground (Where Are You Now?) .   Their unique blend of punk rock attitude and electro pop acting like a kind of best-of-music-I-like for me. Since that album, a few others followed, all good, so I had high hopes for Synthetica . The result? Well it is indeed good, about as strong as Grow Up And Blow Away  I would say. It opens with the very Metric "Artificial Nocturne" which never fully takes off the way "Help, I'm Alive" did, for example, but which nonetheless lures you hypnotically into the album. It has a great build-up. "Youth Without Youth" is next and adds a bit of Black Keys-style blues to the mix. Again, it doesn't have that extra level to it but it's still a cool tune. "Speed The Collapse" brings with it a darker tone and is all the better for it. One of the best songs on the album, definitely. The following song

Well, The Offspring's long-awaited new album Days Go By is out and, having grown up listening to the band (among others), I thought I'd give this one a listen and *gasp* a review. Days Go By is a mixed bag to say the least. On the one hand you've got those decent new Offspring tunes which, though hardly groundbreaking, are always fun. " The Future Is Now" kicks off the album on a high note, " Secrets From The Underground" follows and, as familiar as it sounds, it's still energetic and enjoyable enough to justify its existence. Then we get title song " Days Go By" , a remarkably dull effort. I can never seem to listen to it all the way through. It's not "terrible" I guess, the chorus is fine at least, but it never takes off. I just couldn't get interested in it at all. Thinking about it, this one would work on a Green Day album with Billy Joe Armstrong's voice more suited to this type of tune. " Turning I

You ever wonder what would happen if the Guns N Roses , Duran Duran and The Sex Pistols all got together somehow and made an album? Well, why wonder when you can HEAR? Boys and girls, I give you: Neurotic Outsiders. A supergroup formed back in 1995 made up of Steve Jones (Sex Pistols), Matt Sorum (Guns N Roses), Duff McKagan (Guns N Roses) and John Taylor (Duran Duran). I’ll let the awesomeness sink in. The band only really made the one album (with an EP the following year), a self-titled release which I recall owning back in the day. I loved it but being French the lyrics were lost on me, which was a bit awkward since songs like Nasty Ho were pretty graphic throughout. “Oh nasty ho…” You know, for kids! Regardless, it was great. But how does it stand up today? Well, lets just say it more than lives up to the term “supergroup”. Vocally, Steve Jones may not be Axl Rose but he fits in perfectly in this punk/grunge/metal hybrid and although the prospect of the band being led

Fast Five? Fast & Furious 5? Rio Heist? Screw all the rubbish titles, behold... The ExFastables! Why the sudden surge of "team" movies? The Expendables , A-Team , The Avengers , This... Not that I mind, it's just a bit odd really, isn't it? There's really not much to say about this new fast and furious outing for a franchise which never seems to end or go anywhere in particular. It's a Fast and the Furious movie: dumb, loud, action-packed, muscle-bound, tough-talking, cars smashing, bums-in-your-face, the usual fare basically. Oh sure this being the 5th film it's bigger and sillier than most of its predecessors but thankfully not so much that you can't enjoy it on a one dimensional level. Fast Five is hugely entertaining from start to finish, and I'm saying that as someone who couldn't give a toss about cars or muscles so imagine how much you'll like this if that's totally your deal! The best-of cast includes the Blandmeis