TheRetroCritic

Tim Burton being the movie wizard of my childhood, people who know me at all will know that I’m somewhat biased when it comes to Burton’s films but that said, I will attempt to objectively review this one fairly and without any emo fanboy nonsense. Then again… Dark Shadows was wicked cool you guys!!! I’m kidding, it was fine. As trendy as it is these days to pan anything Mr Burton does, sadly this review won't. I mean, granted his movies post- Mars Attacks haven’t really reached the heights of his earlier works but a so-so Tim Burton movie tends to still be way more fun than most other films of that type and Dark Shadows is no exception. Actually, there aren’t many movies of that type making this the most original Burton film in years. The mix of overdramatic soap opera and Hammer-style horror is rare but works brilliantly here. Watch as vampires and witches worry about their seafood businesses in an unknown shitty little town. Seafood lol Actually,

Some new pics from Tim Burton's upcoming Dark Shadows have recently popped up online: lol Eva Green, Michelle Pfeiffer and Helena Bonham Carter looking very suspicious indeed.

"The Bat, The Cat, The Penguin." Best. Tagline. Ever. For a long time, Batman Returns was not only hands down my favourite Batman film but one of my all-time favourites. To a certain extent, this is still true but time has made me a harsher critic so here's me trying to objectively review a film which has been firmly embedded in my DNA for decades. Hell, I could even hum the entire score from start to finish if I was drunk enough! Where Batman took the film noir route and was firmly inspired by detective flicks of the 40's, Batman Returns is pure Tim Burton. The snow, the quirky fairytale feel, the gothic look, the twisted sense of humour... it's a very different Gotham City to the one we were first introduced to. The film almost feels like an opera with the town hall, where most of the action takes place, acting as a kind of grand stage where all the drama and madness can take place. The film's opening is one of my personal favourite sequences of