TheRetroCritic

My review of The Haunting . No, not the good one.

When the sequel to Ben Stiller's 2001 comedy Zoolander was announced, everyone was pretty much unanimously game: not too much time has gone by so the original cast looks basically the same and there is plenty about current day pop culture to send up. Speaking of which, Zoolander No. 2 opens with a chase through the streets of Rome straight out of a spy movie as some bikers hunt down and kill Justin Bieber who sends out his last Instagram selfie as he dies. This scene sets the tone for the rest of the film which is not only more action oriented but also packed to the brim with cameo appearances. Penelope Cruz is a new addition to the cast, she plays a member the Fashion Police who is investigating the recent run of celebrity assassinations. Zoolander's (Ben Stiller) "Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good And Who Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too", it turns out, barely made it a day before crumbling to the ground, killing his wife and disfiguring (that'

Wes Anderson's debut feature, Bottle Rocket may have very little to do with bottles or rockets but, what it is, is a cool cult indie movie which introduced us to both Owen and Luke Wilson so that should soothe your bottle and rocket disappointment. Based on the director's own short of the same name, Bottle Rocket is actually a heist movie with a difference. That difference is that it involves two quirky dudes mostly in the game for the hell of it. They treat robbing like it's a legitimate career and get off on the rebellious thrills when they're clearly not cut out for a life of crime. We're first introduced to Luke Wilson's character Anthony as he gets ready to leave a psychiatric hospital: he's a mild-mannered, harmless-looking guy with nothing in his life except the will to make his career as a burglar work, even if he does mostly steal from family members, and his over-keen brother Dignan (Owen Wilson). The latter takes every single thing very seri

Ever since Rushmore , Bill Murray has starred in every single Wes Anderson film to date. Sometimes fleetingly, sometimes, like in The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou , in the main role. Re-watching the latter, you really do wish that the actor tackled more roles like this one these days. The film sees a Jacques Cousteau-esque oceanographer, Steve Zissou (Murray), announce at a film festival that he's planning to seek revenge from a "Jaguar Shark" whom, he claims, ate his friend Esteban. His faithful red hat-wearing team and new recruit Ned (Owen Wilson), who may or may not be Zissou's biological son, follow him on this quest which proves to be his biggest challenge yet. The Life Aquatic is Wes Anderson at his very best as an all-star cast brings his razor-sharp script (co-written by Noah Baumbach) to life and he, with the help of stop-motion maestro Henry Selick, creates a unique visual style that's both more down-to-Earth than, say, the more obviously cartoon

Directed by Ben Stiller, The Cable Guy is a dark comedy starring Jim Carrey and Matthew Broderick that proved maybe too weird for audiences back in 1996. It went from being treated as a joke to gaining a cult following over time but how does it fare today? The film sees Broderick's loser Steven move into a new apartment after awkwardly separating from his girlfriend (played by Leslie Mann) and meeting his "cable guy", a strange dude calling himself Chip Douglas (Jim Carrey) who speaks with a lisp, has a rather unpleasant sense of humour and who molests Steven's wall the very first time he meets him. Chip desperately wants to be friends with Steven and basically pushes this friendship onto him but when Chip finally crosses the line and Steven wants out, he soon becomes the latter's worst enemy. I could certainly see how going from The Mask or Dumb & Dumber to this would be a bit of a jump but seeing as, by this point, Jim Carrey had already played a dem

I forgot how goofy this movie was lol Ben Stiller doesn't direct a film often but when he does, love it or hate it, at least it's something very much unique. The Cable Guy was dark and twisted, Tropic Thunder was big, loud and action-packed and Zoolander was... really really, ridiculously good looking. And pretty damn funny. Ben Stiller plays Derek Zoolander, a dimwitted male model known for his trademark "looks" ( Blue Steel and  Le Tigre , among others) who, after losing out to new male modelling sensation Hansel (a perfect Owen Wilson) at a fashion awards show, decides to retire from modelling and try to find himself. Little does he know that the combined efforts of Will Ferrell's eccentric fashion designer Mugatu, Jerry Stiller's sleazy manager and a bunch of shady fashionistas are plotting to program him to murder the Malaysian prime minister who is planning to up the pays of textile factory workers. It's dumb, ludicrous and about as plausi