TheRetroCritic

The only Bond film to star George Lazenby as 007, On Her Majesty's Secret Service was certainly a gamble. Casting a relative unknown to tackle the biggest super spy role out there after years of Sean Connery safely at the helm was a bold move to say the least. But did it pay off? Well, the film has enjoyed a cult following over the years and many regard OHMSS as one of the best Bond outings. Watching it growing up, however, I remember being less than impressed: something felt off, way off about this movie. But it’s 2012, a MILLION years later, time to take another look. It’s still no good I’m afraid. A positive attitude going in, I was hoping to enjoy the movie in a so-bad-it’s-good kind of way, as a loveably campy guilty pleasure or I was actually secretly hoping it was genuinely much better than I remembered it. And although parts of it are irresistibly kitsch or amusingly silly there is still something completely off about this whole venture. For one thi

Clive Barker's cult franchise was always going to aim higher and higher. After all, this was a crazy-ass concept with endless possibilities and a lot of potential for creative, far-out developments. The first Hellraiser took place mostly inside this one house but the claustrophobic aspect of the story worked really well. Its sequel, Hellraiser II: Hellbound , followed a slow build-up with some neat sequences taking place inside the demon Box itself. It was a great way to expand that world and I personally couldn't wait to see more of that in the second sequel. So what's all this shit?! You've got Pinhead and co stuck inside some pillar statue, some boring douchebags with problems we really couldn't give two shits about and a first half so dull I felt like putting on the awesome Phantasm quadrilogy instead to balance things out. Granted the first couple of scenes are fun and the second half picks up promptly but it never becomes good: only sillier, more ridi