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10 COOL THINGS ABOUT PLANET OF THE APES (2001)

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I try to find 10 cool things about Tim Burton's Planet Of The Apes .

TRANSFORMERS: THE LAST KNIGHT - VLOG 11/07/17

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I rant at length about Transformers: The Last Knight .

TRANSFORMERS: THE LAST KNIGHT - REVIEW

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Michael Bay returns to direct yet another Transformers sequel as the popular yet also critically reviled franchise again promises a darker, more emotional film packed with big, bombastic action scenes and a post-apocalyptic setting. Transformers: The Last Knight opens on a perplexing note as we're thrown into a full-on battle involving the 12 Knights of the Round Table including Merlin the Wizard (not kidding): a Stanley Tucci in full Monty Python mode. As it turns out, Merlin's magical powers were lent to him by early Transformers who allowed him to unleash dragons and such. Somehow, this has an impact on present day where Transformers are outlawed because they are blamed for reducing parts of Chicago to dust. Cade Yeager (Mark Wahlberg) is given a talisman by a dying Transformer Knight and he becomes the titular "last knight" as he is supposedly chosen to help defeat evil. With Optimus Prime busy floating in space and talking to octopus-haired robot villaine

PLANET OF THE APES (2001) - REVIEW

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After the ridiculously fun Mars Attacks! , Tim Burton soon went back to sci-fi with his very own "reimagining" of a classic and famously did not exactly charm critics and audiences with 2001's Planet Of The Apes , a film widely regarded as his worst effort to date. Even if Dark Shadows and Alice In Wonderland got just about as much crap upon their releases. The sad thing is that, although this Planet Of The Apes has a few things going for it, it's a hard one to defend seeing as it gets so much wrong. Not even just in terms of how it differs from the original story but as a film in general. To start on a positive note, however, I should point out that the film sets itself up rather well with a terrific score by the ever-reliable Danny Elfman and the best ape make-up effects in probably any movie. The all-star cast, which includes Charlton Heston himself in a cameo appearance, disappears under those effects and that makes it much easier to buy the whole talking

10 COOL THINGS ABOUT... PLANET OF THE APES (2001)

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I attempt to find 10 cool things about Tim Burton's Planet Of The Apes . Wish me luck!

TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION - REVIEW

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As we enter the Age Of Incomprehension, so do the Transformers enter the Age Of Extinction . In other words: what WAS this movie?! Now, a lot has been said about the Transformers franchise and about its director. With each release comes a backlash usually mocking either Michael Bay's incompetence, how silly the films are, the leads' miscasting or the bots themselves. Well... This one won't be any different, I imagine. Which is a shame seeing as this is easily the best (read: least painful) Transformers film since the first one. Having said that, Bay's asking for it, at this point. After the surprising return to form that was Pain & Gain , this would have been the perfect opportunity for the director to take the money-grubbing franchise into a new, more involving, better direction. On the plus side, the grating Shia Labeouf is absent this time around, replaced by the infinitely more appropriate and likeable Mark Wahlberg, a man who can make even the wo

THE MARK WAHLBERG BREATHATHON

Mark Wahlberg catches his breath over and over... and over again in Tim Burton's Planet Of The Apes . Running, walking (and acting) is hard.

TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION - PREVIEW

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Ok, so Michael Bay's latest Transformers movie, Transformers: Age Of Extinction , finally got a trailer this week, thanks to the Superbowl, and it was... well, interesting. Now, unfortunately you still have human characters running around screaming, which I'm guessing is all they can do in this movie since the Autobots look a bit too busy with those Dinobots and Decepticons to really pay any attention to them. The trailer opens with some fun Autobot action in the countryside: Complete with dramatic moments: And cars being sliced in half: Punkass Decepticons... Alright, so the trailer does a good job at keeping your attention throughout but, just in case, it still finds the time to fit in a big-ass gun: And some space action: After some awkward slo-mo shots of Mark Wahlberg and co, we finally get some short glimpses at the main action sequences in the film: Green Autobot with parachute jumping out of a building before taking

THE FIGHTER - REVIEW

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Directed by David O. Russell, The Fighter sees Mark Wahlberg play a boxer managed by his brother (Christian Bale) who used to be a professional himself before becoming a junkie screw-up. The struggle becomes to figure out a way to juggle family, relationships and a career without anything blowing up in anyone's face. The idea of a gritty warts-and-all look at a fighter's life isn't exactly a brand new concept, especially since The Wrestler only came out two years prior to this movie, but The Fighter is a well-made enough film that it remains compelling from start to finish regardless. The dynamics between the different members of this family are electric and Bale's Oscar-winning portrayal of Dicky Eklund is impressive to say the least. Of course, the actor lost a freakish amount of weight for the role and that physical metamorphosis crossed with a memorably hyper, shifty-eyed performance makes it one of Bale's must-see movies. Mark Wahlberg is much more unders

I HEART HUCKABEES - REVIEW

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Back when I Heart Huckabees came out, critics didn't know what to make of it. Some loved it, some hated it with a passion, some didn't know either way. Like a cross between a Michel Gondry/Charlie Kaufman collaboration and a Coen Brothers screwball comedy, David O. Russell's film proved too odd for most people. I Heart Huckabees follows Jason Schwartzman's character, a depressed poet/environmentalist on a quest to discover the truth behind a bizarre coincidence. He hires the help of a couple of "existential detectives" (played to perfection by Dustin Hoffman and Lily Tomlin) to help him figure all this out but the oddball detectives start getting maybe a bit too involved in his life. Jude Law plays Schwartzman's main antagonist, an insufferable douche who works for a company called Huckabees and who takes over his save-the-forest coalition for the sole purpose of making the company look good. Other players in this whole story include Law's airhea

PAIN & GAIN - REVIEW

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Well well well... Who knew that Michael Bay still had one ok film in him?! Based on a true story, Pain & Gain sees Mark Wahlberg's Daniel Lugo come up with a plan to kidnap some obnoxious rich dude and steal all his dough with the help of a couple of other bodybuilders (played by Dwayne Johnson and Anthony Mackie) and soon finding himself trying to desperately contain the damage he's caused. The film is big, dumb, bloated and completely over the top. And, you know what? That's exactly what it needed to be. After all, most of it is seen through the eyes of our main characters, slightly unhinged, not very smart fellas, so the film's overblown style does make sense. Unlike with the Transformers movies, you've got context that makes sense here. Plus Bay captures the goofy nature of 90's action movies really well. The result is basically Scarface meets Pumping Iron crossed with a little The Whole Nine Yards . I say that because the film really does pla

PAIN & GAIN - VLOG 03/09/13