TheRetroCritic

The idea of a Seth MacFarlane film in which the guy plays a CGI bear alongside Mark Wahlberg sounded like the best film ever. Like everything I wanted The Beaver to be and more! Couldn't wait to see that but somewhere along the line I just assumed the project would end up getting shot down due to it being maybe a bit too out-there for studios to bet their money on. Then a trailer popped up and I was both over the moon and a tad suspicious. There seemed to be lols in there but it all felt much "safer" as a comedy than the Ted I'd subconsciously developed in that twisted-ass mind of mine. The whole foul-mouthed, alcoholic, stoner animated character thing seemed way too obvious of a gag and the novelty of  Ted and his wackily non-typically teddy bear ways wore off by the end of the trailers. But Mark Wahlberg usually being much better in comedies than in serious, dramatic roles (see I Heart Huckabees and The Happening lol) and MacFarlane always a good bet in te

You ever watch a film that was both so good and so unpleasant you were both happy you watched it and happy it ended? Welcome to Blindness ! A movie which doesn't care about you and your stupid-ass thirst for films that don't include mass rape and blind people literally shitting themselves in hospital corridors. You wanna watch Blindness? Huh? PWNED!!! So the film starts off with a blindness disease spreading like wildfire throughout the city until those newly blinded unfortunates are eventually quarantined into some kind of prison/hospital/camp place and things just go from bad to worse... to way worse... to OMFG... to kinda better... to Disney! Man what a ride... Half an hour in you think those people have reached rock bottom but little do you know that compared to what they're about to go through they are pretty much livin' it up. It's been Vegas this whole time, the shit-storm hasn't even begun. This is one cruel movie. you've got Mark Ruffalo

Spy movies have been done and redone in millions of different ways. Johnny English Reborn is out soon but for those looking for something a little more substantial and a little less...2003 there's always this little number. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy may not boast Mr Bean hijinx but with a first class British cast it should peak the interest of most regardless. So far the critics have been unanimously dreamy but does Thomas Alfredson's film really adds more to John Le Carré's tale than the BBC mini series? Hard to say. Yes the running time is obviously condensed but that turns out to be both a bit of a blessing and a bit of a curse. At a bit more than two hours, the film feels about three hours long. And the ending, although it doesn't really feel rushed, lacks the punch it could have had if we'd been given a bit more time to care for these great characters. Great characters which are played to perfection by the way. This is a great cast and no one puts a

The prospect of Mark Dacascos kicking zombie ass in a post-apocalyptic city in an I Am Legend B movie was almost too glorious to put into words. Sadly, the only ass I ended up kicking was my own, for putting myself through such a dull, sluggish watch. Production company The Asylum have had the odd nice, creative surprise: Sherlock Holmes battling dinosaurs being one of the highlights. Here though, they've somehow managed to make a sci-fi epic with a martial-arts master fighting zombies about as boring and uninteresting as it could possibly get. An achievement in itself? Yeah... The sad thing is that had the film stuck to Dacascos and the creepy army guys things could have potentially become somewhat entertaining but Jennifer Lee Wiggins' insufferable tacked-on love interest, which comes in about halfway through, is just a pain to sit through. The bad acting coupled with the annoying little comedy routines she gets with Dacascos are definitely not the film's shining mom

After the cop out that was... Cop Out , it's Adam McKay's turn to give us his take on the old buddy pictures of the 80s. On paper, The Other Guys should have been glorious but, as funny as it is throughout, there is still something missing. Perhaps it prioritizes jokes rather than focus on the cop genre it's riffing off a bit too much, perhaps the shaky-cam and modern feel of the film takes away some of the nostalgia we have come to expect from those classic cop movies. Having said that, Will Ferrell is always fun and Mark Wahlberg is great proving once again that comedy really is his calling as opposed to drama, which he can barely do (as his previous 3 efforts have conclusively proven). The supporting cast is also spot on with Michael Keaton's TLC quoting captain almost stealing the show. Alas the film tires in the last half hour and the whole thing becomes very hit and miss. The jokes wear thin and you end up missing the film's first half. Still, The Other