TheRetroCritic

So you've got Lucy Liu and vampires... In other words: you've got a film. It should have been so straight-forward: Liu in Underworld -style leather catsuits battling vampires as a rebellious blood-sucker herself. Nothing too original, granted, but hell, I would have been happy with that. Alas it's all up to the iconic writer of Snakes On A Plane (and director of Elektra Luxx ) to handle that challenging premise and things are not looking good... The film starts fine with ominous goings-on, the THREAT (*gasp*) of lesbian sexual interaction and Liu's prompt transformation into the vamp we all wanted to see. Then, I'm sad to say, the rest is a blur. It really is criminal that a vampire film starring Lucy Liu would mostly involve the actress walking around badly-lit rooms and following a plot that, frankly, is about as memorable as The Monkees' drummer. It's a mess and Liu's revenge quest never feels urgent or involving. Basically there is no act

What makes a good biopic? An accurate cast? An involving story? Strong emotional conflicts? Yes, all of those, of course. But also a good biopic needs to tell us something new about the person being looked at. Otherwise, what are you left with besides people in funny disguises? Not much it seems, as My Week With Marilyn clearly demonstrates. From the offset it's clear that although there is a lot there story-wise to work with, the film will never even begin to scratch the surface of what's essentially the meat of the whole thing. Instead of focusing on Monroe's struggle to work in a film with Laurence Olivier, which could have had some dramatic potential, we instead follow the whole thing through the eyes of young Colin, some lucky-ass kid with no apparent personality, whose kinda-affair with the star is told through pretentious voice-overs, unlikely reconstructions and dialogs. All in all, we learn that Marilyn Monroe had trouble being recognized as a "rea