TheRetroCritic

So you've got Lucy Liu and vampires... In other words: you've got a film. It should have been so straight-forward: Liu in Underworld -style leather catsuits battling vampires as a rebellious blood-sucker herself. Nothing too original, granted, but hell, I would have been happy with that. Alas it's all up to the iconic writer of Snakes On A Plane (and director of Elektra Luxx ) to handle that challenging premise and things are not looking good... The film starts fine with ominous goings-on, the THREAT (*gasp*) of lesbian sexual interaction and Liu's prompt transformation into the vamp we all wanted to see. Then, I'm sad to say, the rest is a blur. It really is criminal that a vampire film starring Lucy Liu would mostly involve the actress walking around badly-lit rooms and following a plot that, frankly, is about as memorable as The Monkees' drummer. It's a mess and Liu's revenge quest never feels urgent or involving. Basically there is no act