TheRetroCritic

So they're making a film about Alfred Hitchcock starring Anthony Hopkins as the legendary filmmaker and he looks like this: I honestly can't get over how bad this looks. I mean, have they ever  seen the real Hitchcock? This odd, plasticky fellow above looks more like French right-wing politician Edouard Balladur... Or even... Actually, he looks more like... Ok, to be fair the knife tie thing is pretty clever. Not sure it's clever enough to get me hyped for this one, though. After all, the tagline is "Good evening".

  Actually being John Malkovich wouldn’t be too bad if it weren’t for… Making Mr Right . Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for silly movies involving Malkovich and defective robot clones but only as long as they reach heights of completely enjoyable dumb. Thankfully, parts of Making Mr Right definitely qualify. Take the scene where the android’s ass ends up on his belly button: great but oh so short. Unfortunately the film just doesn’t live up to its idiotically great premise. Too much time is spent with Ann Magnuson’s Frankie as she’s putting on make-up/talking shit/going to meetings/driving around when we were promised early on an android with awesome super powers. Needless to say that once Malkovich’s robotic man-child finally leaves the lab to face the real world none of the expected badass stuff actually happens. Instead we get to see him hang around a mall, buy a suit and screw some side character off camera. It all builds up to a wedding, which frankly isn’t important to the