TheRetroCritic

It's cream-your-pants time! I simply cannot wait.

Sacha Baron Cohen in a Larry Charles film about how Americans are assholes playing a stereotype douche with funny hair and a dodgy accent? I've gotta see this! ...again. Yes it's that time again where the man dons a silly costume and sets out to effortlessly offend the entire planet. And you know what? The formula still (mostly) works! I'm doubtful that the team will ever reach the highs of Borat again, Bruno was already a step down, but this middle ground isn't too unpleasant so roll on with The Dictator . This time, Cohen is dictator Aladeen, leader of made-up North African country Wadiya: he's got an impossible accent, a LOT of pubic hair, Megan Fox as only one of his many celebrity prostitutes, an anti-Jew Wii game, the list goes on. Nothing terribly new so far but it's a character we haven't seen before and he is more than appropriately goofy to stand proudly alongside Cohen's other creations. The film sees Aladeen showing up in New Y

There is nothing wrong with Jake Gyllenhaal: Donnie Darko , The Good Girl , Moonlight Mile , even Bubble Boy , it's all good. But give him long hair, pump up his muscles and give him a GODAWFUL english/cockney/irish/other accent and what you're left with isn't so much Jake but Jak Gyllenhaal, Jake's idiotic older brother. And unfortunately that's who they got to play Prince of Persia. Video game to film adaptations aren't exactly famous for their success and this probably won't change much although it is arguably one of the best in that sub genre. Infinitely more watchable than the Resident Evil films or whatever crap oozed out of Uwe Boll over the past 5 years or so. Prince of Persia is a great game, the later ones especially not the NES or Master System ones which had controls about as fluent as that giant wheel Conan pushes in the 80s Arnie film. The film tries to make the most of its swashbuckling action, silly but fun story and exoti

  Uwe Boll directs (that's a big word) this mess of a video game adaptation and offers us little more than about a million jittery flashbacks, some of the worst acting ever filmed and basically one of the most boring films I've seen in a very long time. Three things save this turkey from the dreaded 1 star rating: gore, boobs and Ben Kingsley. As catastrophically rubbish as Kristanna Loken's acting may be...she is compelling to say the least (though not so much in the big clown rubbery pants she gets near the end lol). The gore is gratuitous but fun and Ben Kingsley can do "creepy bald man" in his sleep.  The biggest disappointment here may very well be Michael Madsen who is a complete non-event. It's almost as if he refused to act and instead stood in front of the camera with his ridiculous Highlander haircut waiting for the "ker-ching" sound of his pay being counted. Overall, this is dire and it was so dire I actually found myself missing House