TheRetroCritic

What kind of a world do we live in where people are remaking Arnold Schwarzenegger movies and making them worse?! I mean, it's not like they're remaking the shitty ones either, Conan The Barbarian and Total Recall get remade when the likes of Red Sonja , Hercules In New York and Junior  still roam the Earth? I don't get it. But ok, fine. It's a Philip K. Dick short story so there's room for interpretation and I guess with all the new CG technology available to us, a slicker version of Paul Verhoeven's film could serve at least as decent popcorn entertainment. Or, if it's smart enough, as a kind-of-good companion piece to Minority Report . The trailers promised striking visuals, loads of action and a solid cast so chances were we'd get something half-decent if not quite as retrogasmic as the original film. Alas, what we got was a mixed bag to say the least. Technically, Total Recall is not a bad film. It follows the basic formula of the orig

Adapting a play should be pretty straight-forward: you've got pretty much the whole script right there! But sometimes, movies and plays just don't translate well to each other. Surely a talented director like Roman Polanski would know how to side-step such an issue though. Right? Well... yes and no. From very early on, it's pretty clear that after a Haneke-style opening shot we'll pretty much be stuck in this one apartment with all the main characters for the entirety of the film. I can see why Polanski thought that would work: the claustrophobic setting coupled with the stress and awkwardness bouncing off the walls creating an unnerving sense of "get me the hell outta here!". Fine. It's a stagy concept but I can see it working. Unfortunately, not really the case here. Had the story progressed in a different, more chaotic and entertaining way then this could have worked brilliantly (see The Dinner Game ). But the banality of the core premise's