TheRetroCritic

In 1970, Hammer wanted to continue making Dracula movies yet reboot somewhat their franchise, so they made Scars Of Dracula . A sort-of follow-up to Taste The Blood Of Dracula and a sort-of re-adaptation of Bram Stoker's classic novel, this movie means well but unfortunately falls pretty flat as a whole. It opens with a plastic bat inexplicably vomiting blood onto Dracula's ashes, thereby resurrecting him once again. I guess it makes more sense a bit later, when you know that Dracula has bats working for him, but if he's nothing but ashes, how can he still have any power over them? Never mind, it's a Hammer film, we're just gonna have to accept it. The plot follows a young couple who are about to be married and a guy called Paul (Christopher Matthews), a cheeky playboy who tries to escape a girl's father when he finds himself being dragged to some creepy village and, ultimately, Dracula's castle. The second scene of the film is actually really good: vi

Further proof that the Depp/Burton formula CAN work beyond Edward Scissorhands and Ed Wood , Sleepy Hollow sees the tale of the Headless Horseman being told through a Hammer horror-style flick complete with a creepy forest, dodgy townspeople, witches, curses and a cowardly prim-and-proper lead. Depp is Ichabod Crane, a character usually depicted as butt-ugly but this time... not so, the science-minded investigator from New York who finds himself looking for logic in the small town of Sleepy Hollow when strange head-choppin' murders start mysteriously taking place. Soon enough, a skeptical Crane finally gives in to the idea of a headless horseman and adapts to the supernatural in order to find who really is behind all this. As straight-forward as it sounds, this is one surprisingly complex plot so you'll have to pay attention if you're going to even get the 'Scooby Doo' reveal at the end. This is Tim Burton still at his most creative and although I've sai

As good as it is to see Hammer back in town, so far their movie choices haven't exactly been mind-blowing. The Woman In Black , if the play was anything to go by, seemed like a promising vehicle though. With its moody, dated look, an effective ghost story at its heart and more than just some woman wearing a silly mask (see the play) to scare the bejeesus out of us. Daniel Radcliffe is our protagonist and heads to the rather unpleasant, reportedly haunted, house in the middle of nowhere. There's also a small town nearby with a bunch of dodgy inhabitants all hiding some sort of big secret which might have something to do with several kids randomly committing suicide around the village. Yes it's pretty standard and very predictable but it's also very Hammer so there was a lot of schlock potential there! These guys practically invented this nonsense, surely this should be a walk in the park for them. Well, yes and no. There is a sense throughout The Woman In Black

You know those old B movies where you don't see the monster until the last 10 minutes and until then you're made to sit through a slow-moving narrative and endless shots of people walking around in dark rooms looking perplexed? Well, The Reptile is one of those movies. But is the payoff worth it? Almost. There is fun to be had throughout this Hammer horror thriller: Noel Willman is great as the troubled and decidedly odd Dr Franklyn, the Reptile looks the business and there are enough anomalies in the film itself to keep fans of bad movies nitpicking and entertained. The lighting is all over the place: with a single candle lighting a whole house and day turning to night back and forth without rhyme or reason. The continuity is often questionable, the locations cheap-looking and some scenes are clearly either missing entirely or awkwardly there to fill in a gap. Overall, The Reptile is one for the more patient viewers: it's not particularly exciting and t

Using pretty much exactly the same sets as The Reptile , Plague of the Zombies is Hammer's only zombie venture and is well worth a look. Infinitely more threatening than The Reptile, the film starts pretty much exactly in the same way with mysterious deaths, funerals, grave robbing and generally sinister goings on but it soon introduces some nifty antagonists. The genuinely unpleasant group of fox-hunters, led by Alexander Davion, terrorise Diane Clare's innocent daughter, John Carson's shady Squire is a constantly untrustworthy presence, and then of course there are: the zombies. Unfortunately they are a little disappointing in that they are reduced to lumbering mine-workers with bad skin and only truly shine during one terrific dream sequence. Jacqueline Pearce's beheading, however, is an unexpected (but welcome) gory moment. Unlike The Reptile, this feels more focused and less clumsy in its approach. The lighting and editing feel more polished and

So you've got Christopher Lee playing Dracula, an actor with one of the most amazing, most sinister voices in cinema history, so what do you do?  Make him play a wordless, lumbering drone!  Although it was Lee himself who refused to read the lines he was originally given, a rewrite would have probably been a better solution as the lack of lines really takes a lot away from the character. He is still somewhat threatening but just feels altogether pretty bland and lacks the presence and style of Bela Lugosi's original Dracula . Can you imagine if Saruman just walked around saying nothing in the Lord Of The Rings movies? People (and hobbits) would just give him weird looks and ignore him like some crazy hobo wizard. By showing a recap of Dracula (1958) at the beginning of the movie, Dracula: Prince Of Darkness really makes you miss that film which had the ever brilliant Peter Cushing as vampire hunter Van Helsing. The plot is typical: English tourists ignoring vil

Frankenstein Created Woman indeed...or rather...a man within a woman. Yes, don't be fooled by the straightforward title, this is as random as a Frankenstein film can get. Not really actually, there's always Frankenstein Conquers The World . One of Hammer's last films, this is also one of its best. Peter Cushing has never been cooler, the whole thing looks fab, Thorley Walters is a lot of fun as Frankenstein's bumbling right-hand man and the villains are a positively odious lot and not too dissimilar from the Clockwork Orange gang or the nasty fox-hunters from Plague of the Zombies . The real strength of the film is that it introduces us to a young troubled couple we actually get attached to only to turn everything upside down as Frankenstein's well-meaning (or not) experiment once again backfires. As tragic as the story is, the film never forgets to be fun and, indeed, as preposterous as it all is, the silliness feels essential. Besides, those ann

Oddball genius Nic Cage returns with yet another supernatural effort and although we're not getting the delightfully madcap Cage of Bad Lieutenant or Vampire's Kiss , this is restrained but silly NC. Always entertaining. He stars alongside Ron Perlman in this adventure which sees both knights/crusaders escort a witch to some castle. From the offset we get bad hair, silly helmets, dumb one-liners, American accents and epic slo-mo: all the ingredients of a true epic fail. And yet, from the genuinely very good opening sequence, this is a really fun ride from start to finish.  In what other film can you see Ron Perlman headbutting a demon repeatedly in the face? Well, perhaps Hellboy... But still, it's awesome! The whole thing feels very Hammer from the start and this feeling is confirmed when Christopher Lee himself shows up for a creepy but effective cameo. Everyone seems to be having a ball and although the ending relies way too much on CGI, it's well wor