TheRetroCritic

So few movies I've seen on the big screen that left me with a feeling of "what the hell did I just watch?". There was The Time Machine , which just kinda ended, Broken Flowers , which I just didn't get, a couple of others and Zack And Miri Make A Porno . I mean, it's not like the subject matter was a big surprise, after all, the title is pretty darn clear! That said the movie I got was very different from what I had imagined. For one thing: they don't actually make a porno. We're teased early on with the possibility of Jason Mewes and co. taking on "Star Whores" but that just crashes and burns and the film becomes about making a porno in a coffee shop but then it turns out the film's not about that all but in fact is all about the Seth Rogen/Elizabeth Banks romance. This would work had the film been substantial enough in various domains (laughs, heart, smarts) but this is a bare movie which... I guess fits the porno theme in a way.

Hands up who wanted a prequel to The Thing ? Really? Come on! No one cares about the Norwegians? Well now you have to, for here is their story. Yes it follows almost every single key scene from the original film to the letter, but why wouldn't something this crazy happen twice in two different places just around the corner from each other? Because Hollywood knows better, that's why. So indeed we finally get to see the untold story of the Norwegians, who were the first to uncover the Thing before Kurt Russell and the gang even had a look at it. This time we get Mary Elizabeth Winstead being called into a base in Antarctica to help dig the titular whatchamacallit out of the ice. You know what happens next: Thing breaks out, people scream, paranoia sets in, it all becomes a "whoisit" (as opposed to whodunit) and it all ends in flames. That this The Thing remake isn't a disaster is almost shocking. Replacing practical effects as amazing as the ones in J