TheRetroCritic

It's tough to beat a Bond movie at the box office, especially if your film is a B movie about cold fusion and goofy disguises. Tomorrow Never Dies was released the same year as The Saint and it's easy to see why the Val Kilmer-starring vehicle faded away into nothing. For crying out loud, Never Dies had a remote controlled BMW! The Saint had Elisabeth Shue with a heart condition. That the latter was turned down by a plethora of actors from Mel Gibson to Arnold Schwarzenegger is no surprise. All the ingredients for a fun light-hearted thriller are there and yet The Saint suffers from having one of the least inspired scripts I've seen in a long time. Who thought this was interesting? Some stock Russian gangsters want to steal the formula for cold fusion in order to fix some unlikely election. Meanwhile, some guy called Simon Templar helps them but then doesn't. THE END.  For aaaaages.  116 minutes on THAT boring-ass story? Surely you jest. The opening titles of T

So I'm watching 1997 flop thriller The Saint starring Val Kilmer and Elisabeth Shue when I decide to check out Wikipedia for more info about the film. A film which involves Russian gangsters, cold fusion and... Ok, it only involves these things. But lets see what Wiki has to say all the same: Sophisticated ones? Lets see... U-huh... I see... Fair enough. Seems accurate enough. WAIT...