TheRetroCritic

If you're going into this movie expecting something NOT silly, you're not paying attention. Read the title again. Ok? Good. Yes, as it turns out good old Abe Lincoln spent his time in Springfield not only working on his speeches and ageing into a rubber prosthetic but also wielding an axe, slicing vampires in half. Fair enough. You gotta hand it to the guy: he kept busy. The movie starts off sort of like a superhero movie with a young Lincoln defending his friend from those cruel vampiric-looking slave traders. But just when you think the film might pause and take a subtle, interesting look at the hellishly divided society of the time... the other kid gets whipped in the face with the whip snapping right in our faces with some of the best 3D effects I've seen in a while. From then on, you know that slavery, the Civil War etc. those aren't events we'll be studying with any sort of intellectual validity in this flick. After all, this is a movie where

I resisted. Honestly I did. Before watching Alias I only knew it involved some girl running around corridors with wigs and I refused to believe there was anything more to it than that. I refused to allow myself to like it. To be fair, there is a LOT of Jennifer Garner running around in wigs down corridors. That's like a given for any episode: that WILL happen. Accept it now and you'll feel better about it very quickly. So what is Alias? And how can I even begin to explain without spoiling the whole thing for you guys? Lets just say it's a European-style spy thriller series created by Lost / Fringe maestro J.J. Abrams with a terrific cast of characters, some of the best twists and cliffhangers you'll find in any show, a kinda supernatural underbelly (so good) and one of the all time great TV villains. Being an early noughties thing, expect the odd shitty pop song, copious amounts of techno music and Brosnan-era Bond-style technology. Season 1 is quick to get

Comedy sequels are a hard one. If any comedy shows any sign of popularity you can bet that an inferior sequel is just around the corner ready to rack up the cash once more. Usually three things can happen: 1/ They get it right in that they expand on the story/characters, bring something new to the table and still create something fun and original ( Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey , American Pie 2 , Austin Powers 2 , Wayne's World 2 ...) 2/ They get it almost right, in other words the filmmakers didn't quite get what people liked about the first film so they did pretty much the same thing but with slight differences or a different setting. Usually that doesn't quite work but makes the sequel feel fresh enough that fans of the original film can still enjoy it ( Ace Ventura 2 , Ghostbusters 2 ...) 3/ They get it wrong...( Splash Too ) Hangover II falls under the second category: more of the same but oddly considerably darker and...in Thailand. This time Stu (Ed Hel

For a film about a magical brain pill, Limitless really isn't that clever at all. That said, if you allow yourself to stay brainless throughout this is one enjoyable, silly ride. Bradley Cooper's first film as the main lead fits in very well in between this month's other two dumb sci-fi action thrillers Source Code and The Adjustment Bureau . Limitless could have easily been set in a Minority Report -style near future and it would have made just as much sense. More sense even because as it stands I could spend all day outlining the film's gaping plot holes. The film starts off strangely rather well with some cool, hypnotic effects, a cliffhanger and some almost Spike Jonze-esque storytelling. Then we're shown the pill... *flashback to the trailer* Oh man this is gonna suck. "I finished my book in 4 days!" From the moment Cooper ingests that first pill you know what's next, you know Limitless is about the jump the shark. Cue Brad jumping i