TheRetroCritic

Well, it's Halloween, so what better to review but a film by the master of Italian horror himself? Yes, I'm talking about Dario Argento, of course. Armed with an army of flies, a gloriously inappropriate rock opera soundtrack and buckets of shattered glass and blood, Phenomena (also known as "Creepers" ) is certainly one of those must-watch silly horror flicks. Troll 2 gets all the love these days but Phenomena, though it's made somewhat more pertinently (visually at least), is a completely entertaining oddity that's well worth seeing for any fan of trashy/arty horror. A young Jennifer Connelly leads a mostly lost cast and actually does a decent job considering her lines are about as silly as they come. Donald Pleasence, however, doesn't seem too sure about why he's having to interact with an ape almost every scene he's in while spouting out convenient bags of quirky exposition. Everyone else is mostly rubbish and, as such, help provide ton

Still feeling the aftershock from Starship Troopers 2 's assness, I finally decided to end the suffering and complete the trilogy. Presented by Paul Verhoeven, starring Casper Van Dien, boasting big robots on the cover (I know, I'm easily led): Starship Troopers 3: Marauder promised to offer something resembling a decent film or at least something better than the preceding train wreck. The result? I'm happy to say that it is, indeed, better than Hero Of The Federation. Like a hundred times better. No more shall we roam around dark corridors aimlessly, no more shall we endure some of the dullest dialogs and characters in movie history and no more shall we have to sit through the most repetitive display of bug attacks you'll ever see. Man these guys were stealthy: patiently waiting around the corner for humans to pass by innocently... Bullshit! These are mean-ass killer bugs goddamnit! They don't stop for shit! This is partly why Marauder works: it underst