TheRetroCritic

So good, I had to post it.

SPOILERS Well, this is it, people. The final chapter of " The Twilight Saga ". ... REALLY?! THIS is it? Wow. After sitting through every single Twilight movie, I can safely say that this new installment is one big disappointment. Not so much in terms of lols, it does deliver a good bunch of those, as ever, but just in terms of sheer drama and cinematic competence. Yes this is meant to be like a cheesy vampire Harlequin romance type thing but it's also meant to be a story worthy of an entire franchise and, most importantly, a movie. As it turns out, this "saga" fails on all accounts. Shame, with Breaking Dawn Part 1 , things were finally starting to get borderline insane and mean-spirited just the way I wanted it to! Ah Part 1... You beautiful bastard. Here we have Bella, finally a red-eyed vamp, complete with super-strength, super-powers, moody doochiness and wood-like posture. FINALLY Bella is resembling a strong female lead and an actua

I've wanted to do a stupid little comic series breaking down movie franchises as absurdly as possible for a while now... Ladies and gentlemen, I give you: The Twilight Saga .  In a nutshell. Got a few more planned so let us know what you think!

lol

Ok, two new trailers for Twilight: Breaking Dawn Pt. 2 and it's looking good. By that, of course, I mean lolgasmic. "She was born, not bitten. She grows every single day!" Gotta love that line. Then there's this one. "We have the same temperature now." Edward has a way with words. Also check out the last bit of that trailer, where Bella stalks a deer : GENIUS. Love that shit.

If Twilight: Breaking Dawn Pt.1 brought as many tears of lol to your eyes as it did to me, then you've gotta be looking forward to this second part. Speaking of which, here's a newly released picture depicting the happy family together for the first time: I'm loling already. Now lets have a look at how they came up with the idea for this teaser pic... Simple maths, really. + ÷ It's gonna be great.