TheRetroCritic

That's exactly what video game movies needed: another kick in the balls. Uwe Boll's BloodRayne is now, of course, somewhat infamous for being one of his own most consistently flawed films and yet it somehow spawned not one but two sequels. A typical B-movie cast is assembled as the likes of Ben "way too good for this" Kingsley, Michael Madsen and Michelle Rodriguez walk around wearing bad wigs, goofy make-up and silly costumes either over-acting or under-acting their asses off. The plot follows Rayne (Kristanna Loken), a half-vampire half-human out for revenge against Kagan (Kingsley), the king of the vampires, for what he did to her family. While on her quest she meets a positively drunk Michael Madsen, a moody Michelle Rodriguez, not to mention Meat Loaf, Billy Zane and Udo Kier. It's like someone stole the Big 2000's B-Movie Rolodex and called everyone on there. The movie goes for Resident Evil / Underworld -style action cool (except set in the 18th c

Because BloodRayne was SOOOO good. Here's a sequel for ya. With a new Rayne, about half the budget and an even lesser known cast comes BloodRayne 2: Deliverance , a sequel that I can't imagine anyone was begging for but which nevertheless exists. This time, director Uwe Boll sets things in the Old West where our heroine is made to face off against, wait for it, a vampiric, Eastern European Billy The Kid. See, the problem with the first film, I felt, was that it just wasn't silly enough. Serious lack of vampire cowboys in that movie, frankly. Well, you sure won't be disappointed this time. Initially, I thought this movie was a fan-made thing: the opening titles and the film itself looked so cheap that it took me like 5 minutes to realise that this was an actual movie. That said, I'd be lying if I said that I didn't end up enjoying this movie just a little. It's not good, don't get me wrong, but in terms of cheapo vampire cowboy movies, it de

Uwe Boll has been branded as the new Ed Wood by many critics and I've never really seen the similarities apart from the fact they both made bad, silly films...until I saw Bloodrayne 2. Ed Wood mixed genres like monster movies, sci-fi B movies and film noir together in the hope of creating something fresh and original and, as time as shown, he was succesful. Here Boll mixes spaghetti western with comedy, vampire horror and...video games. The result: vintage Uwe. Whereas the first Bloodrayne boasted a good cast, lots of silliness and a lot of boredom, here we have pretty much no relation to the games, no big names and lots of silliness once again but...it does have vampire cowboys. And after robot cowboys (see Westworld ) this is pretty much the best thing I've ever heard. Don't get me wrong: it's rubbish. But as a bad movie this one can be enjoyed on the same level as a good old-fashioned Ed Wood. It's stupid but proudly so and Boll clearly has fun cloning En

  Uwe Boll directs (that's a big word) this mess of a video game adaptation and offers us little more than about a million jittery flashbacks, some of the worst acting ever filmed and basically one of the most boring films I've seen in a very long time. Three things save this turkey from the dreaded 1 star rating: gore, boobs and Ben Kingsley. As catastrophically rubbish as Kristanna Loken's acting may be...she is compelling to say the least (though not so much in the big clown rubbery pants she gets near the end lol). The gore is gratuitous but fun and Ben Kingsley can do "creepy bald man" in his sleep.  The biggest disappointment here may very well be Michael Madsen who is a complete non-event. It's almost as if he refused to act and instead stood in front of the camera with his ridiculous Highlander haircut waiting for the "ker-ching" sound of his pay being counted. Overall, this is dire and it was so dire I actually found myself missing House