TheRetroCritic

Pixar's latest has all the makings of a brilliant, picturesque, fantasy epic: stunning visuals, heart, mystery, bears. What more do you need? I'll get to that... This is certainly a departure for Pixar, the studio this time going for a very Disney princess-goes-rogue tale instead of the usual off-beat approach. If anything, Brave is more like a darker, less bright-and-cuddly version of Tangled than a unique creation on a par with Wall-E or Up . Princess Merida is the heroic, red-haired lass and her story basically involves not wanting to be forced into marriage, running away, meeting up with a witch, turning her mother into a bear and trying to fix that very spell. She is understandably pretty whiny and only seems to be happy when riding a horse, shooting arrows randomly and being a bit of a spoilt brat. Her dad's pretty awesome, not just because he's Billy Connolly, but also because he's actually a fun, friendly guy. Unfortunately he is also a bit of a wi

Starring Billy Dee Williams, sci-fi turkey  Alien Intruder gets the Best Of treatment.

We’ve all been asked this question at some point in our lives: “What’s your favourite film?" Hmmm… It’s always a difficult one isn’t it? You thoughtfully ponder for a moment, quickly scanning through the sizeable library of cinema visits, DVD’s, Blu-Rays and videos that you’ve amassed in recent memory. It’s never an easy one to answer with absolute certainty and the likelihood that your particular movie of choice will differ from another individual’s is, in essence, human nature. Of course, many will share the same passion for the silver screen's popular Oscar winners, black and white classics, perhaps a Disney film or two... Personally, I couldn’t care less about a film’s artistry, the award-winning performance of an actor, the previous pedigree of the director or the millions of dollars spent on cutting-edge special effects. No, for me, a memorable film is one where you can feel part of the on-screen enjoyment, create an emotional bond with the characters and, most impo

Pregnant man movies are never as good as their one poster joke. Junior had Arnie pregnant, Rabbit Test had Billy Crystal pregnant...anything else? Nope. Now we have Marcello Mastroianni pregnant. Yes, the cool Italian guy from all the best Fellini movies. So how does it hold up compared to these other, later efforts? Well, sadly about the same. Arguably, this is the "technically" better film in that it doesn't try too hard to be hilarious, it just exists. Unfortunately that's also one the film's biggest shortcomings: it really doesn't try anything. It's like whoever comes up with these pregnant man movies just wrote "pregnant man" on a piece of paper and handed it to the director: "make this!". Why not just make like a hilarious version of La Dolce Vita where Mastroianni's going to all these parties...but he's pregnant? Stylistically, at least, it would be fun. But no. A Slightly Pregnant Man spends a lot of time building

With the likes of Shaun of the Dead , Planet Terror and Zombieland , I think it's fair to say the zombie genre is back on track and is better than it's ever been. Here we have another welcome addition to the new zombie comedy bandwagon with Fido, a colourful Tim Burton-esque tale of 50's suburbia, propaganda, paranoia and human zombie pets. The post-apocalyptic story is pretty brilliant in how it's set up and reaches glorious highs of genius. The scene where the main kid hacks an old lady zombie to death with a shovel, silhouetted in front of a giant Wolfman -style full moon is one of the most satisfying scenes of the past few years and I'd gladly watch it on a loop. An unrecognisable Billy Connolly feels a tad wasted as the titular Fido zombie, who doesn't so much say his lines as grunt them. Then again, this gives the character a welcome Edward Scissorhands -esque simplicity and innocence. Connolly's always a welcome addition but anyone

As Jonathan Swift uncomfortably rolls around in his grave, Jack Black brings us this loose (and I mean LOOSE) adaptation of Gulliver's Travels along with one of the most unnecessary all-star cast since the original Casino Royale . Story-wise, this is all set in modern day with Black's mail room guy making his way to the Bermuda Triangle and ending up in Lilliput where Chris O'Dowd's villain captures him. But after saving the King (Billy Connolly) with his piss, he becomes a national treasure. And instead of making realizations about his own society, like the original story would have it, he uses Lilliput as his own personal toys and everyone seems Ok with that. There's a lot of things wrong with Gulliver's Travels: the story is slight, the whole thing is barely amusing, the effects work but are unimpressive, the cast is underused, Black tries too hard and, worst of all, there are so many plot holes I can't even name them all. Gulliver's phone has un