TheRetroCritic

Going into The Hunger Games with no prior knowledge of the story or the book, with only a really vague trailer and a rough guess of it being like a kid-friendly Battle Royale -type deal, I was hardly dying to see it. But, desperate for a popcorn movie and half-aware of some decent reviews for it I decided to check it out in the hope of finding some sort of originality, simple entertainment or maybe, just maybe, some good old fashioned Battle Royale teen cruelty. So how did The Hunger Games "play out"? Not bad, as it happens. I mean, I'm amazed it's done so much better than John Carter financially since both films are just as enjoyable but I can understand the film being more accessible going in. For one thing the concept is fairly straight-forward and bears no resemblance to Flash Gordon in the slightest, and there's no sign of any intimidating use of Avatar -style CGI in what can only be described as the plot for a really epic, campy Saturday morning 8

As both our polls finally end, I can now reveal that the film joining Captain America (voted Best Film Of 2011) in the Hall Of Fame (& Shame) as Worst Film Of 2011 is... BATTLE: LOS ANGELES   The faithful followers & visitors of the RetroCritic blog have voted and chosen... MY own pick for Worst Film Of 2011... Go figure! And no, I didn't vote several times. Believe it or not, more people disliked Battle: LA than Sucker Punch , Transformers 3 AND Alvin & The Chipmunks 3: Chipwrecked . I'm guessing most skipped that last one. But what makes this Aaron Eckhart-starring sci-fi war flick so hard to get behind? Well, for one thing the awesome trailer was about as misleading as it gets: it promised tons of exciting action, loads of suspense, ground-breaking special effects, an interesting, gritty take on the familiar alien invasion plot and strong performances. But noooooo. Fuck that shit! Lets plow through sand with Team Douchebag for two hours on the offc

The prospect of bonkers director Takashi Miike directing a Seven Samurai -style samurai flick seemed like one awesome idea. Like Tarantino making a gratuitous war comedy/thriller or Takeshi Kitano taking on the blind swordsman himself! So has Akira Kurosawa been bettered? Not quite, but 13 Assassins is certainly right up there! In the first half of the film, Miike takes the time to introduce Goro Inagaki's antagonist: a guy pretty much as delightfully evil as it gets. A mad, cruel, heartless serial killer, you can't wait for Koji Yakusho's assassins to get rid of him. The titular assassins are introduced one after the other brilliantly in the fashion of the Seven Samurai/Magnificent Seven: it's a classic build-up complete with montage, emotional conflicts and power speeches! Then, in the second half of the film, the assassins' plan goes into practice and soon enough they take over a village where the main battle takes place. Without spoiling it, let me ju

Alien invasion disaster movies have always been a hit-and-miss affair. From the old Earth vs The Flying Saucers -type B movies to more recent big budget efforts like Independence Day . You'd think such a simple concept would be pretty straight-forward and easy to get right. Not so. Unfortunately Battle: LA, like so many similar films before it, fails to deliver. Instead we are given a kind of B-side cliched war flick with rubbish District 9 -style aliens thrown in. Earlier this year we had the awful Skyline in the same vein and although Battle: LA isn't qute as dire, it's still pretty poor all around. It's like the film contains all the shittest cliches and flaws which made Independence Day so cheesy but minus Jeff Goldblum, Randy Quaid and ANY sense of fun whatsoever. What's left? Not very much alas. Early on we're introduced to the film's main characters: a bunch of Marines, who are about as likeable and interesting as the plastic chair I'm c