TheRetroCritic

After re-watching the mostly abysmal Never Say Never Again , I wasn't too keen on fitting in a quick watch of Diamonds Are Forever , a movie I barely remembered and didn't recall being particularly wowed by in the first place. Turns out this one is actually not too bad. The film opens like a Saturday morning cartoon with Bond making his way to Blofeld's lair and encountering a cloning mudbath which actually IS as silly as it sounds. Once the plot starts, though, Diamonds Are Forever finally starts resembling a movie and a somewhat convoluted plot involving dodgy diamond trades, diamond-powered satellites, gay serial killers, cat clones and plenty of ladies far too young for old Sean in inexplicably skimpy outfits, begins. Oh, and it turns out the safety of the entire world rests upon one cassette tape. Clearly one of Blofeld's better constructed megalomaniac plans. Two things prevent this Bond outing from being on the same level as Never Say Never Again: 1/ S