TheRetroCritic

Talk about a good set-up! You've got a cool title, a kickass Duran Duran theme song, Christopher Walken, Grace Jones, all in a Bond film! How is this not widely known as THE best 007 flick out there? I'll tell ya: HORSES . Yeah, you know what's not cool to have in a Bond film? An extensive amount of time spent talking about or riding horses. I mean, I like the countryside and the pooey smell of stables as much as anyone but... Remember that scene in Goldfinger where Bond is playing golf with the titular villain? Now imagine if that scene was about an hour long. Ouch. Alright, I know it sounds like I'm panning A View To A Kill pretty harshly, but don't get me wrong: I like the movie! Christopher Walken's Max Zorin is a cool villain, Grace Jones is as striking as ever as henchwoman May Day, I like the opening ski scene, as silly as it is, and the third act is actually pretty darn decent. You've got a chase up and down the Eiffel Tower, Bond a

Flop or not, Quentin Tanrantino and Robert Rodriguez's Grindhouse was certainly influential enough with countless crazy-ass films trying to capture the same type of trashy faux-thenticity and lolgasmic OTT nonsense since. The results have been a mixed bag, for sure, but I'm happy to say Hobo With A Shotgun is one of the good ones. It seemed pretty promising, the prospect of an aging Rutger Hauer shotgunning down thugs "one shell at a time" was something to look forward to. In the end we got a film which unfortunately didn't have that "event" quality Planet Terror possessed but which did not disappoint delivering a strong, funny, completely entertaining addition to the subgenre. Hobo With A Shotgun works as a stylish, well made Troma flick with less boobs but more surreal cruelty... and more hobos. The film looks great with its, ahem, interesting colour palette mostly limited to red or blue half the time, Hauer plays it straight and does a fantas

Soon after the first Pink Panther film, Blake Edwards jumped straight into a second instalment, this time focusing on the first film's scene-stealing inspector in an infinitely more cartoony outing. This was always my favourite. For one thing its Agatha Christie-style plot works brilliantly and is far more involving than David Niven's rather bland cat burglar story: it all builds-up to a classic ending reminiscent of Hercule Poirot's last-minute suspect reunions but far more goofy and catastrophic. The film is beautifully made and once again boasts a fantastic score from musical deity Henry Mancini, one which boldly doesn't solely rely on that famous Pink Panther theme but instead blends a new terrific theme with haunting, amazing tune The Shadows Of Paris . Edwards has done it again: another instalment which looks, sounds and feels just perfect. Peter Sellers is given more of the same to do in the first act but he soon gets a chance to really get silly: cue cou

Never quite my favourite Hitchcock film, To Catch A Thief has nevertheless grown on me these past few years. Similarly in tone to North By Northwest , it always felt like a slight, silly effort from The Master. And yet these days I find there's something irresistible about it. This is probably THE most chilled-out whodunit you'll ever see: there's little to no hurry. Characters have long chats while driving down the sunny French coast, stop by to have picnics, go for a swim... It's one big, long holiday with a freakishly tanned Cary Grant at the heart of it playing a cat burglar trying to find a copy-cat burglar in order to clear his name. But where the chillaxed nature of the film infuriated me as a kid, now I get the joke: take a typical Hitchock thriller and make it as lighthearted and tongue-in-cheek as possible, set the whole thing in the most inoffensive setting and get Cary Grant to wear horrible sweaters and scarves: voila! To Catch A Thief never pret

Can The Coens do no wrong? Is that possible? It certainly appears that way. A Serious Man is indeed yet another mini-masterpiece from the men behind The Big Lebowski , Fargo and countless other triumphs. After a truly perplexing opening 5 minutes, it looked like The Coens were going to really lose us on this one. But of course they were only teasing. A Serious Man is probably their most personal film and feels closer to the likes of Barton Fink than anything else they've done in the past: small, focused, stylish, incredibly clever, truly unique and of course very funny. For anyone with Jewish heritage, the film will probably feel extra-perceptive but at its core the film's ideas and messages are universal. Larry Gopnik's struggle to make sense of the unjust treatment he suddenly receives from the world around him is one which anyone can empathise with and understand. A Serious Man, like a lot of Coen Brothers films, is a bit like watching an ant struggle under a mag

And you thought John Waters had matured...shame on you. Not since Pink Flamingos has such absurd silliness been put to film in such an anarchic way. What is this 2004 effort like? Lets see, take the disturbing aspect of David Cronenberg's Crash : the idea of getting hurt and henceforth being sexually liberated in some way. Then add the colourful, over-romanticised look of Chocolat . Ok? Got that? Right, now ejaculate on it and you've got yourself A Dirty Shame: a film so filthy it's...filthy. Waters has a talent for getting OTT, ridiculous, disgusting characters to say the dumbest but funniest lines. One example would be: "Isn't it weird that all the men in this neighbourhood have penises?" or of course: "Lets go SEXING!". The film itself is directed in a way that's almost trippy and the whole thing builds up to some of the most entertaining and mind-blowing nonsense you're likely to see. Trees turning into orifices, Davi