4/9/12

RISE: BLOOD HUNTER - REVIEW


So you've got Lucy Liu and vampires...

In other words: you've got a film.

It should have been so straight-forward: Liu in Underworld-style leather catsuits battling vampires as a rebellious blood-sucker herself. Nothing too original, granted, but hell, I would have been happy with that.

Alas it's all up to the iconic writer of Snakes On A Plane (and director of Elektra Luxx) to handle that challenging premise and things are not looking good...

The film starts fine with ominous goings-on, the THREAT (*gasp*) of lesbian sexual interaction and Liu's prompt transformation into the vamp we all wanted to see. Then, I'm sad to say, the rest is a blur.

It really is criminal that a vampire film starring Lucy Liu would mostly involve the actress walking around badly-lit rooms and following a plot that, frankly, is about as memorable as The Monkees' drummer. It's a mess and Liu's revenge quest never feels urgent or involving. Basically there is no action whatsoever and say what you will about Twilight: vampire baseball counts as action. I didn't care about anyone or anything going on here. The film didn't need a plot, it needed a relentless continuation of entertaining nonsense.

Instead, we are left to wonder around boring apartments and look at the movie's DVD cover thinking "lol, she looks like Edward Scissorhands. THAT was a good movie...". Now Lucy Liu's great but I would suggest something like Kill Bill or Cypher if you want to see the actress do anything because this is the greenroom of vampire movies: actors/vampires sitting around wearing make-up, yawning their way through their next paycheck.

Dull.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Popular Posts